If, on the other hand, the small Texas town in which you live, and burglarize, offers a radio show called Swap Shop where callers can sell their stuff -- well, it doesn't take a criminal genius to put two and two together.
It takes a criminal idiot.
Cops say Derrick Traylor burglarized the Jasper home of a guy who was on vacation.
According to KJAS, which as we'll see has intimate knowledge of the case, Woods took "a 62" big screen TV, two window air conditioners, along with wheels and tires and other items." (In Jasper, apparently a 62-inch TV must be identified as "big screen" in order not to confuse it with those small-screen 62-inch TVs.)
Traylor kept the TV, police say, but called in to Swap Shop -- on KJAS!! -- to get rid of the rest of the stuff. Because, you know, in a metropolis like Jasper no one would have heard of the burglary and precisely what was stolen.
Police say he has confessed to the crime.
KJAS' report contains the following stunning two paragraphs, which have at least one great country song in them just waiting to be written:
It is the second time in less than a month that Swap Shop has been used to sell stolen merchandise.And finally, in case KJAS sounds familiar, it's because it's owned by the mayor of Jasper.
In September, police arrested 35-year-old Timothy Lakey after they say he stole a motorized wheelchair from his own grandmother, and then used the radio program to sell it.
That would be Mike Lout, who was arrested earlier this year for being drunk after he -- without a shirt -- smashed his car into a Sonic.