So the other day, we were thinking to ourselves, "Self, what is the stupidest thing you could do that no one has ever done before?" We pondered for a while and hit on the jackpot: Call up 911 and scream at the dispatcher that he's a "punk bitch."
You can't imagine our disappointment upon learning that a dude named Devin Jerome Egolinsky allegedly beat us to it.
2333-year-old Pasadena gentleman, who apparently was having trouble keeping his eyes open during the admittedly tiresome booking procedure, was charged with harassing communication Nov. 4, and is in Harris County Jail as of this writing, in lieu of $5,000 bond.
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SHOW ME HOW
According to the criminal complaint, Egolinsky unlawfully made "a telephone call to 9-1-1 when there was not an emergency and intentionally and knowingly [made] abusive and harassing statements to M. Puente, a Pasadena Police Department answering point employee, to-wit: 'YOU PUNK BITCH.'"
It's not clear what precipitated the call, or if Egolinsky had any prior dealings with M. Puente, who we can only assume is not, in fact, a punk bitch.
It's not Egolinsky's first dalliance with the law, either: he was given two years' deferred adjudication in 2006 for possession of meth, and also served three days in jail in 2000 for driving with a suspended license, according to Harris County District Clerk records.
While we do agree that there are indeed punk bitches out there who need to be held accountable for their shortcomings, you can't just fly off the handle and randomly accuse someone of that without a scintilla of evidence. Furthermore, the fact that this guy was taking up a 911 dispatcher's time is no laughing matter. That's precisely the kind of thing a punk bitch would do, no?