Dez Bryant's Mom Calls 9-1-1, Vows, "I'm Going to Put an End to It Today!" (w/ AUDIO)

"I think that Dez has a chance to make the kind of impact of people that have worn this jersey before." -- Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in 2010 after bestowing the #88 jersey on wide receiver Dez Bryant

Cocaine possession. Drug paraphernalia. Various mysterious brushes with assault charges through the years. Michael Irvin had quite a run wearing number 88 for the Cowboys back in the '90s. And up until this past weekend, in the pantheon of former number 88's in Dallas, Dez Bryant probably still had a little ways to go to catch Irvin in the transgression department.

Until this past weekend, Bryant's "résumé" included things like forgetting his shoes at the NFL combine, failing to pay a jewelry store here and there, and getting booted from a shopping mall with some buddies because their pants hung below ass level. Nickel-dime type shit in the grand scheme.

And then on Saturday, Dez's mom did something to piss him off (what, we don't know), and if the 9-1-1 audio is any indicator, consider the transgression gap between Irvin and Dez closed.

On Monday of this week, Bryant turned himself in to DeSoto police for arrest after he allegedly assaulted his mother, Angela, in her home on Saturday.

According to the incident report, Bryant became angry when his mother asked him to leave her home during an argument Saturday afternoon. Initially, it was reported by DeSoto police that Bryant slapped his mother in the face, but the police report, which was released on Tuesday, clarified that Bryant allegedly grabbed her by her T-shirt and hair and "hit her across the face with his ball cap."

Somehow Angela Bryant's bra and shirt were also torn at some point during the incident, and she was clear on the 9-1-1 call that this was not the first time this had happened. Here is the audio of that call (courtesy of the Dallas Morning News):

Highlights from the 9-1-1 call (9-1-1 operator questions are in bold font, and my comments are preceded by "SP:"):

Does anybody have any weapons?

"No, not yet. ... He picked up a ball and tried to hit me with it and then he grabbed me. You'll see me when you get here."

SP: Well, Dez may not have had a weapon there, but I think we know the answer to the question "Does Dez own weapons?" "No, not yet" seems to imply that he doesn't have any, but he could go grab some at any moment. Also, it's been said many times by Bryant apologists that Dez is just "a big kid," that he's really not a bad guy, just immature. This part of the transcript validates the "big kid" part. He threw a ball at her? What is he, eight years old?!? Even better, he missed! Go ahead and scratch any trick plays from the Cowboys' playbook that have Dez Bryant throwing the ball this season. Dude missed his mom stationary from point-blank range; he's probably not going to "put it where Miles Austin can go get it" while throwing on the run.

Has anybody been drinking?

"No, they haven't."

Has there been any drug use?


SP: Further validation of the "big kid" theory. No drinking, no drugs, but decent chance he was on a sugar rush from a jumbo bag of Skittles.

What's he wearing?

"He has some black shorts on with no shirt."

SP: Cashing my "No shirt -250" ticket....

Where's he at now?

"I guess he went home. He's in an Escalade. It has 'Bail Me' on the license plate."

He left in the Escalade?

"I'm sorry, it's a Navigator. It's pearl white with silver sides on it. ... He started attacking me for no reason."

SP: ...and cashing my "Navigator with vanity plates -300" ticket.

While we are all riveted to see if Bryant's relationship with his mom will ever be repaired (Keep in mind this is the same mom about whom Dez was asked by the Dolphins, "Is your mom a prostitute?" during the combine process), the bigger question is "Will NFL commish Roger Goodell bring down the hammer on Dez Bryant under Goodell's frequently invoked "Don't piss me off!" rule?"

We all know the due process in the court of Roger is virtually nonexistent and there's a decent chance that the sum total of Bryant's idiocy prior to this little dust-up may have pushed him to a point on Goodell's shit radar that one arrest, especially one involving violence against a woman, would be enough for him to get a couple weeks to "think about it" (unpaid, of course) come September.

In the meantime, say a little prayer for Angela Bryant, who's had it up to HERE with her son's act: "I can't keep letting him do this. I can't keep letting him do me like this. I'm tired. I'm going to put an end to it today. I'm going to put an end to it today. I'm tired."

Angela, may I suggest the Total Transformation program for you and Dez?

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at

Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Sean Pendergast is a contributing freelance writer who covers Houston area sports daily in the News section, with periodic columns and features, as well. He also hosts afternoon drive on SportsRadio 610, as well as the post game show for the Houston Texans.
Contact: Sean Pendergast