It's a cliché, but criminals come in all shapes and sizes.
On Saturday night, the Houston Police Department picked up 20-year-old Donald Ray Spencer for burglary of a habitation, a felony.
Evidently Spencer did not go down without a fight, because he is also charged with trying to snatch away the gun from one of the arresting officers, which is another felony.
And looking at his mug shot, you'd think most people would cross the street if they saw Spencer coming. That facial ink is just too crazy. WTF does that star on his left cheek mean? And what's up with that freaky-deaky Charles Manson scrawl between his eyes? And don't those filled-teardrop tats under his right eye mean he's a Crip who has killed two people? (We have no idea if that's what those teardrops really mean, but that explanation is one of many out there on the Internet.)
So yeah, he looks pretty damn scary up close and personal.
But here's the thing: Spencer is listed in his court documents at 4'1" and 75 pounds.
He is a little person, and not the kind you see on the heartwarming Discovery Health reality shows. Nope, this is an (allegedly) very bad little person, the kind you'd be more likely to see on a very special episode of Cops.
And come to think of it, a guy like him could have some advantages. Accomplices could toss him over fences. He could slip through cracks average-sized adults never could. If he was being pursued, he could hide under a car like a cat chased by dogs.
Reminds us of Bushwick Bill, who you'll remember, was shot in the eye in a drunken incident back in 1991; it was alleged that the suicidal, Everclear-sodden rapper forced his 17-year-old girlfriend into the act by threatening to harm their child if she did not comply with his demand to pull the trigger.
Finally, she did and Bushwick lost an eye in the incident. With crystal-clear gangsta logic, the other Geto Boys immediately sensed a photo op. Along with a photographer, they rushed down to Ben Taub and wheeled a pre-op Bushwick, eye dangling out of his socket, out into the hall, and vwah-fucking-la: History was made: the very most disturbing album cover of all time:
And here in "Ever So Clear," Bushwick explains eloquently the events leading up to that terrible event. Although the video is poorly preserved, it's actually pretty touching, especially the shot from Bushwick's perspective of the kids mocking him while looking down at him. And despite this crazy little refrain:
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"Aw... my eye, I can't see
Why you shot me in the eye?
I woulda shot you in the body
Why you shot me in the eye?"
Despite a few more legal missteps and a now-fizzled rap career, Bushwick is alive and well and trying out a career as a Christian rapper. Which is a happy ending, right?
But like Bushwick said in his song, "It's fucked up I had to lose an eye, to see things clearly." Here's hoping that Spencer can find his way to some kind of light before it comes to that.