"Body Bag! Got that Body Bag right here!" "Yellow Top! Who wants to get up on that Yellow Top!" "Yo, G, want some o' that Sheed Wallace? Got that Sheed Wallace, yo!"

If that sounds like a scene from The Wire to you, if you are so naive that you think such brazen drug deals only go down in places like the West Baltimore ghetto, where rival makes of heroin have their own brand names, you'd better think again.

According to a chain e-mail furiously forwarded among West University Place's visor-wearing soccer moms, some unspecified "Lamar kids" have gotten themselves put on a package and transformed the area in front of Mathew's Market in downtown West U into a veritable Hamsterdam. And they are targeting small children!

No doubt these "Lamar kids" are outside agitators from the mean streets of those battleground 'hoods that surround the West U Bubble: the Afton Oaks killing fields, gang-ridden Southampton, and Bloody Braeswood Place, hell-bent on dragging the precious West U angels to their reform school level.

According to InstantnewsWestU.com, West U police chief Ken Walker says he is aware of the rumor and police are looking into it.

A commenter at the same site told her that her young son came home one day recently and told her that some older kids tried to sell him a knife from a bagful they were carrying around. When the kid told the future Cutco reps no deal, they allegedly tried to sell him some "weed."

She didn't pay him much mind at first, but now that the word's out on the street about these ruffians, she isn't so sure.

We'll let you know when the DEA re-deploys their forces from the Mexican border and shuts these kingpins down.