Dr. Michael Brown's Lawyers: Wife's Lawyer Called Us the C-Word and "Flat-Chested"

In the roughly 87 years we've been covering allegations of cocaine-absorbing, pregnant-wife-pummeling, creepy-sex-advice-spouting, alleged-stripper-banging, medical-license-losing doctor Michael Glyn Brown, we've yet to see his ever-changing lineup of lawyers sink to such an entertainingly gutter level as in a recent filing accusing the doc's estranged wife's attorney of calling the doc's female attorneys "cunt," "flat-chested" and "dumb shit."

That's right: Lawyers for the guy who once wrote a letter to his infant daughter, apologizing for "fucking" her mother -- the one he clocked with a broken bedpost -- because "she had a nice ass and I was hard," have all of a sudden become concerned about alleged misogynistic utterances.

Dr. Brown's stable of attorneys, including Philip Hilder and Robert Kuehm, are seeking sanctions against Rachel Brown's lawyer, David Brown (no relation), for "extreme, outrageous and sexually inappropriate statements" against Dr. Brown's female attorneys that "go far beyond the 'typical' opposing-attorney banter."

A hearing has been set for Tuesday in Harris County Family Court for what Dr. Brown's lawyers are calling "incendiary" out-of-court comments. The following is what the lawyers are calling a "non-exhaustive list" of David Brown's potty-mouthed musings:

-- "Referring to a female attorney as a 'cunt,' a 'flat-chested bitch' and a 'dumb shit'" -- "Telling a female attorney that he 'has never been so embarrassed of a white woman'" -- "Asking a female attorney if she wanted him to 'examine her breasts for lumps'" -- "Referring to a female attorney as working for an 'escort service'" -- "Suggesting to a female attorney that he and she 'share a hotel room'" -- "Referring to a female attorney as a 'bitch' and saying of her, 'Daddy like....'"

In his response, David Brown asserts that he "has never referred to any of Dr. Brown's female attorneys as 'flat-chested' or 'cunt' to their face, if indeed such words were conveyed to them it was done so by recitations via their male co-counsel."

Moreover, according to David Brown, "the only time [I] said 'dumb shit' directly to a female attorney [for Dr. Brown]...was after she had addressed [me] in a condescending and offensive relating to the, at that time, outstanding balance of fees and costs owed [Rachel Brown] (an amount in excess of $800,000). [I] replied in an equally condescending manner and referred to her as 'dear.' When she objected, [I] asked her if she 'liked dumbshit any better.'"

David Brown also accused Kuehm of calling Rachel Brown "a crack ho," and of asking a drug-test technician to describe Rachel Brown's pubic hair "in the hall of the courthouse."


Here's more: "On March 30, 2012, attorneys and/or agents for [Dr. Brown] interfered with a deponent from appearing for his deposition in Miami. [I] asked Philip Hilder when he appeared at the hotel in Miami with an immodestly dressed woman to whom [I] had not been introduced, if such immodestly attired woman was an employee of an escort service and, if so, was not 10:30 a.m. on a Friday morning a bit early for him to be in such company. It was only then that Hilder revealed the identity of the woman as that of Mary Olga Lovett, an attorney at the Greenberg Traurig firm. Further, it was Philip Hilder who embarrassed said Mary Olga Lovett in front of a room full of people, if [indeed] she was embarrassed, by telling her [about my] mistake."

And still more: "If indeed a female attorney heard the words 'bitch' and 'Daddy like...' in reference to one of them, said verbiage was conveyed by Robert C. Kuehm as such statements were the contents of a private text sent to Kuehm suggesting that he was about to be fired by [Dr. Brown]."

But Dr. Brown's attorneys -- brave defenders of women's rights, one and all -- say that "in their combined 56 years of practice, the female attorneys have never been in a similar position, and, frankly, they have each attempted to deal with this issue without success. Each is an experienced trial attorney, and each has considered herself capable of dealing with even the most combative opposing counsel on legitimate substantive issues. [David Brown's] conduct, however, is simply beyond the pale...."

The lawyers cite the Texas Lawyer's Creed, saying that "an attorney in Texas should not engage in antagonistic or obnoxious behavior" and that lawyers should not make "'disparaging personal remarks' to opposing counsel."

We wonder if that creed applies to anonymously mailing to media -- or condoning the distribution to media of -- the arrest records of opposing counsel, as representatives of Dr. Brown did during his 2011 assault trial. The Houston Press was one of several media outlets that received a copy of David Brown's four-decade-old arrest for selling drugs while a college student in Mississippi (which David Brown has never denied or tried to hide) and a seven-second video of Rachel Brown smoking something her attorneys suggested (out of court) was crack.

Or maybe Dr. Brown's female attorneys are okay with blatant misogyny, beating a pregnant woman and allegedly threatening the safety of an opposing client's female attorney, as long as it's coming from their own client -- and as long as they're getting paid.

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Contributor Craig Malisow covers crooks, quacks, animal abusers, elected officials, and other assorted people for the Houston Press.
Contact: Craig Malisow