Shaving sucks. It's annoying and you are essentially scraping a razor across your face -- not the safest idea. As a result, accidents are bound to happen. And, when they do if they are serious enough, you have to be that weirdo who wears bandages on your face and explain to co-workers, "Yeah, I'm that guy who was so hungover I couldn't shave this morning." It's embarrassing, which is why when it happens to me, I say that I was attacked by a vicious pack of coyotes while rescuing a kitten from their clutches and I protected this small, helpless creature with my face!
One thing you probably shouldn't do when you have a bunch of shaving injuries is rob a bank, but apparently one man -- who looks a little too much like Hannibal Lecter for my taste -- thought differently and now the FBI is on the lookout for this bandaged bandit.
Check out the picture of this crazy criminal. The bandages are most decidedly strange, but he also appears to be wearing gardening gloves. Plus, there's the fedora and the sling that feds thing he was using as a disguise. Either that, or this brazen gentleman left the hospital and made a beeline for the bank to rob it. Medical costs are high, but that seems a bit much.
The bank he robbed last week was the First Convenience Bank in Katy. He walked in around 9:40 a.m. and told the teller he had a gun though no one saw it. He was handed a bunch of cash ad made his way out the door to his...wait for it...Crown Victoria. This guy, believed to be 40-50 years old, strolled up on a bank looking like Lex Luthor after having been in a car accident, and then rolled out of there in a Crown Vic. Who the hell is this guy?
In fact, the FBI wants your help to find out. Crime Stoppers is offering five grand for information. If you have any knowledge of this crime, or just know a middle aged guy who can't shave and drives a pimpmobile, drop Crime Stoppers a line at 713-222-TIPS (8477) or the FBI at 713-693-5000.
With a get up like that, he can't be too hard to find.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.