Euro 2012: How to Fake a Conversation on Europe's Huge Soccer Tournament

Wait a minute, your American red blood-soaked brain might be thinking, wasn't there just an international soccer tournament? World...something? And didn't we win that already? Are we going to kick ass in this one, AGAIN? In short:a) two years ago, b) Cup, c) no and d) no, because this tournament is for European countries only, which makes it more exclusive a/k/a cooler.

The Euros are a 16-team tournament that happens every four years, this time in Poland and Ukraine. Think of the UEFA (u-ay-fuh) Euro Championship as similar to the World Cup, except it doesn't have Asian, African, or North or South American countries. If you already knew that by now, then you're either a genius at geography, or you're much too aware of soccer.

However if you don't know much, but still wish to know what those Europeans are chatting about (the first games have already been played) so it'll be easier to make more effective insults, this might help:

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Patrick Connelly
Contact: Patrick Connelly