Ever Been Fingerprinted? Well, You Might Just Be... I Dunno, Oh, SATAN!

Pam McLaurin is a teacher in Big Sandy ISD in Polk County in deep East Texas. The Texas Education Association has asked her to submit to a background check. McLaurin, who has taught for 20 years, has complied with every part of the check save for the mandatory fingerprinting, which she opposes on religious grounds.

That's because the kindergarten teacher interprets the Book of Revelation literally, and thus fears that by allowing her fingerprint to be digitized and stored in a computer, she will have assumed the Mark of the Beast.

And as she helpfully pointed out in the Bible verses (Revelation 13:16-17 and Revelation 14:9-11) cited in her lawsuit against the state, to assume the Mark of the Beast is to drink "the wine of the wrath of God, which is prepared unmixed in the cup of his anger."

Which is always unwise, because as it further says in the Bible, quaffing that vintage would submit her to being "tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb."

And so, as she claims in the lawsuit, which was filed in Lufkin's federal courthouse, her First Amendment right to freedom of religion has been violated. McLaurin is not submitting to interviews but her lawyer, Lufkin's Scott Skelton, is:

"She's been a teacher for over 20 years. The school board and superintendent all know her," he told the Lufkin Daily News. "She's willing to submit to any type of background check they might want, just not the digital fingerprint. (She) truly believes the repercussions for that fingerprint would be very serious."

Yeah, being toasted like a marshmallow in a sulfuric inferno in front of a sadistic baby sheep and a bunch of voyeuristic angels is serious business indeed...

Also serious? The TEA. McLaurin's teaching license became inactive on Saturday. And the suit drags on...

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