HAIR BALLS EXCLUSIVE: Some sort of "space craft" blasted off from a Florida swamp this morning, startling a large crowd of people who had gathered on the spot just because it seemed like a nice place to get rained on, Hair Balls has learned.
The white ship went in a direction witnesses described as "up," spewing a massive smoke screen in a vain attempt to avoid detection.
Despite the impressive veil of security that surrounded what must have been weeks if not months of planning, observers were able to clearly see the ship for a few seconds before it disappeared into clouds that had obviously been placed there as part of the scheme.
Pursuit was not immediately available. The names of the escapees are unknown.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
No video or photographic evidence exists of this event, as far as we can tell.