It's really not hard to make it onto the offseason police blotter.
One bad night of drinking, one misstep behind the wheel, one furious temper tantrum, and next thing you know you have a misdemeanor for something or other. It doesn't take very much.
However, it takes a special type of bonehead to hit for the Fantasy Crime League cycle, and garner both a misdemeanor and a felony in the same offseason. (It takes a transcendent one to get a misdemeanor and a felony in the same incident, and that's why we love Chris Culliver.)
Marcell Dareus of the Buffalo Bills is that special type of bonehead.
Just a scant few weeks after being popped for felony possession of synthetic marijuana, the Bills Pro Bowl defensive tackle decided it would be a good idea to go drag racing around the streets of upstate New York:
"Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Marcell Dareus was taken into custody by police in Hamburg on Friday after he was involved in a car accident stemming from an apparent drag race.
Dareus was charged with reckless endangerment in the second degree, a Class A misdemeanor, as well as reckless driving and participating in an illegal speed contest, both unclassified misdemeanors. He appeared Monday in Hamburg Town Court and was released on his own recognizance."
Now, it could be that Dareus is a delicate genius as the most recent arrest has prompted Bills head coach Doug Marrone to reach the "mutual decision" with Dareus to have him sit out the remainder of organized team activities, which run through next Thursday. (Authorized absence from OTA's! Genius!)
Dareus will return for mandatory minicamp the following week.
"It wasn't a disciplinary action," Marrone said. "We're in a voluntary period, so I have to be very careful of my language with the league. ... It was both of us sitting down and talking -- how do we move forward, how do we get this thing right -- working together, coming up with that decision."
"Marcell has made some poor decisions lately. I've been working with him -- he's dealing with a lot of personal issues, too," Marrone said. "I spoke with him at length. We spent a lot of time together talking about a lot of things. ... I believe in Marcell and I will do everything I can to make sure that we can get him on the right track."
According to a statement from local police, Dareus was driving a white 2012 Jaguar and was "possibly racing" against a black Camaro or Mustang in the middle of the afternoon on Friday. An officer found Dareus' car crashed into a tree in front of a restaurant:
Here is the tree, outside the Mongolian Buffet in Hamburg, that put a dent in Marcell Dareus' afternoon Friday. pic.twitter.com/drKnviJEXG
— Mike Rodak (@mikerodak) June 3, 2014
Dareus was not believed to be injured in the crash.
The alleged drag race (and crash) occurred less than five minutes from the Bills practice facility, and reports surfaced on Tuesday afternoon that the driver in the other car was fellow Bills defensive lineman (and Sugar Land native) Jerry Hughes.
Dareus is due back in court June 17, the first day of Bills' mandatory minicamp. He also faces charges in Cleburne County, Alabama, following a May 5 arrest in which he is charged with felony possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. No court date has been set for those charges.
With several weeks remaining in the offseason, and now a shitload of time on his hands the next eight days, Dareus (6 points) could surpass Culliver (7 points) for individual Fantasy Crime League honors.
He has work to do, however, to catch Aaron Hernandez's career fantasy crime point total of 3,526 points.
2014 FANTASY CRIME LEAGUE STANDINGS 1 point .. misdemeanor 3 points .. felony 10 points .. murder
49ERS .. 8 * 3/28/14: 49ers CB Chris Culliver is charged with felony hit and run, misdemeanor reckless driving, and felony possession of brass knuckles. * 4/13/14: 49ers DE Aldon Smith is charged with MISDEMEANOR false report of a bomb threat.
RAVENS .. 6 * 2/14/14: Ravens RB Ray Rice is charged with third degree assault. * 2/21/14: Ravens WR Deonte Thompson is arrested for suspicion of possession of marijuana. * 3/9/14: Ravens OL Jah Reid is arrested on two counts of battery. * 5/26/14: Ravens RB Lorenzo Taliaferro is arrested for public drunkenness (misdemeanor) and destruction of property (misdemeanor).
BILLS .. 6 * 5/7/14: Bills DT Marcell Dareus is arrested for felony possession of synthetic marijuana * 6/3/14: Bills DT Marcell Dareus is arrested for reckless endangerment in the second degree, a Class A misdemeanor, as well as reckless driving and participating in an illegal speed contest, both unclassified misdemeanors.
COLTS .. 2 * 3/16/14: Colts owner Jim Irsay is arrested for DUI and possession of a controlled substance (felony), downgraded to two OUI misdemeanor charges.
FALCONS .. 1 * 2/18/14: Falcons WR Roddy White is arrested for failing to appear in court.
TITANS .. 1 * 3/20/14: Titans DE Adewale Ojomo is arrested for solicitation of prostitution.
BENGALS .. 1 * 3/31/14: Bengals FB Orson Charles is charged with wanton endangerment.
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RAMS .. 1 * 3/29/14: Rams CB Greg Reid is arrested for violating probation.
BEARS .. 1 * 4/21/14: Bears WR Josh Morgan is arrested for simple assault.
PANTHERS .. 1 * 5/13/14: Panthers DE Greg Hardy is arrested for misdemeanor domestic assault.