Fare Thee Well, Giff Nielsen, Maker Of No Waves

Giff Nielsen, the sports anchor at KHOU who's been at the station 25 years, is leaving.

And, ummm, there's not much to say because Nielsen might be the single most boring television personality in Houston history.

Not that's a bad thing -- Nielsen capably delivered the news, conducted interviews and analyzed events -- but he did it utterly without shtick. Which, seeing how some clownishly some Houston sports achors have performed (Hellloooo, State Senator Dan Patrick!!) is probably a good thing on balance.

Nielsen is a devoted Mormon; the irony he that he spent most of his Oiler career backing up two of the most notorious partying QB's in franchise history: racing fiend Dan Pastorini and saloon fiend Kenny Stabler.

Oliver Luck, now head of the Houston Dynamo, was also part of the QB rotation.

"The players [were always] saying they knew which Oiler QB was in the huddle with their eyes closed -- Stabler (liquor on his breath), Pastorini (motor oil on his breath) and Giff (milkshake on his breath)," Luck tells Hair Balls.

Needless to say, Nielsen didn't quite fit in with the rest of the QBs.

"He was the only guy that didn't have a problem going to Tom Green County (San Angelo) for 6 weeks of summer training," Luck says. "Tom Green was a dry county."

We'd like to say we'll miss Nielsen terribly, but the fact is we'll probably forget about him pretty much a few weeks after he's gone.

Which, again, might be a good thing when you consider the circus alternatives.

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