In the area of mainstream sports, the rest of the world has done a decent job in closing the gap between on the United States in sports where we either lead or are among the leaders.
In baseball, our continued efforts to serve the sport up to the rest of the world (Opening Day in Australia!) has created some viable international foes. The globalization of basketball is well documented, and has been quite lucrative. Hell, Tiger Woods' balky physical condition (knees, back, libido) has even handed the world back its golf.
But, we still have our football.
No, not futbol. Football. American football. The world is and always will be eating our dust in the pigskin
until such time as there are no players left standing because they've all been devoured by concussions.
But, dammit, give them credit for trying. Like this highlight from a youth league over in Ireland.
The star of this video clip, the big kid rumbling, stumbling, and bumbling for a 93 yard touchdown, is named Shane McNulty, and he is a defensive lineman for something called the Dundalk Mavericks. For a 30 second video, there's a LOT going on here.
Let's take a look at it then break this thing down afterwards....
Not bad. As you might imagine, I have thoughts:
1. The awesomeness of this video reinforces my contention that a DVD box set, a YouTube channel, or an actual cable channel made up entirely of shows dedicated to fat people doing things that are normally done by slender people would destroy.It's as immutable an entertainment law as videos of dudes getting drilled in the junk or women slipping and falling on ice -- fat people showing bursts of unexpected athleticism are gold.
2. With this touchdown, Shane McNulty is officially allowed to be referred to by just his last name "McNulty," so that he can be as cool as Jimmy McNulty from The Wire. He is also now allowed to have a serious drinking problem and bang all of his co-workers. If you're going to live the gimmick, then why not go all the way!
3. Breaking down the actual football play, the red team on offense has a kid in their backfield who is even bigger than McNulty, like a modern day Dewey Oxberger! And oh by the way, the red team actually fakes a handoff to Dewey, which means there are probably plays somewhere on the internet where that kid is actually running the football. I need to see these plays. Somebody, bring me these plays!!
4. Somewhere Matt Schaub is smiling proudly at this quarterback's total lack of poise and poor decision making under pressure. This was like Schaub's pick six against the Seahawks last season, except Richard Sherman is a 300 pound fat Irish kid named "McNulty." (Side bar: I would love to see McNulty scream into the camera afterwards about Mickey McCrabtree being a "mediocre wide receiver there, fella!"
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5. McNulty wears number 99, so if you were ever wondering what the J.J. Watt pick six against the Bengals in the playoffs back in 2011 would've looked like if Watt were wearing one of those inflatable sumo outfits underneath his uniform...well....mystery solved.
6. I don't think Ireland is catching us in football anytime soon. USA! USA! USA!