Father's Day: Five Horrible Dads You're Glad Aren't Yours

On Father's Day, we all take time out to tell the old man what a swell guy he is, and then on Monday, we all move on, and Dad has to wait another year to get some acknowledgment. But most of us with cool dads probably don't realize how truly lucky we are; that a million cosmic shifts could have altered our destiny and left us to be raised by a jack-ass. So to illustrate this point, here are some fathers you're dang lucky you never wound up with, and who can show you just how good you have it.

5. John List

An inspiration for the underrated 1980s gem The Stepfather, List ranks at the top of the, uh, list of fathers who kill their families because they can't financially support them. (Fortunately, it's a rather short list.)

In 1971, List was a New Jersey Sunday school teacher and accountant by trade who was too proud to tell his wife, mom (who lived with the family) and three teenaged kids that he lost his job. So instead, he pretended he was still employed: he went to the bus stop every day and hung out until it was time to go home. Amazingly, this brilliant plan didn't solve List's problems, so he opted for the second-best solution: shooting his family so their souls would go to heaven. (His wife and kids were found neatly laid out on sleeping bags in the home's ballroom -- it was a big house -- but his mom was in her attic bedroom.)

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Contributor Craig Malisow covers crooks, quacks, animal abusers, elected officials, and other assorted people for the Houston Press.
Contact: Craig Malisow