Five Faces of Colts Fan: A "Goodbye Peyton" Video Anthology

Peyton Manning was cut loose by the Indianapolis Colts yesterday, and while Peyton himself picks up the pieces and figures out which team's tens of millions to take next, the city of Indianapolis will take decidedly longer than Peyton himself to recover from yesterday's events.

In 2012, we no longer have to hear stories about a city's sadness through the media's looking glass. Instead, through the magic of YouTube and Webcams, we can hear right from the horseshoe's mouth.

So without further ado, here are the five faces of Colt fan video reaction to Peyton's departure, directly from Sad Fan Ground Zero -- YouTube!

5. "Death of a Family Pet" Comparison Fan

If you're wondering what it sounds like for the

honey badger video narrator

to gush about Peyton Manning, well, here you go (

"Look at Peyton Manning throw it to Reggie Wayne...oh, look out, Kareem Jackson! Peyton Manning don't give a shit!"

). At about the 2:30 mark, he hits you with a barrage of clichés that might even be enough to kill an actual honey badger, and he then chases that by comparing the euthanizing of his dog to the press conference yesterday. Solid perspective.

4. "Willing to Stand in a Tornado" Fan

I'm fairly certain this woman is a Peyton Manning fan (why else would she be standing outside Colts headquarters yesterday? To stalk Austin Collie?), and if she weren't standing outside in 80-mile-per-hour winds, we might be able to hear her and get confirmation.

3. "Wishy Washy Screamer" Fan

If anyone can tell me what the hell this guy's point of view is exactly, let me know. I think he changes his opinions five times in about two minutes. Also, he claims to be a four-time national champion, but doesn't specify in what sport. It's clearly not a sport that involves clear enunciation of consonants.

2. "Angry young flat-billed cap" Fan

This dude comes out pissed off, points at the camera a lot and drops the words "love," "respect" and "nut sack." Blah, blah, blah...angry, angry, angry....***kisses two fingers*** "We love you, man." Right.

1. "Overemotional, Crying Female" Fan

If this chick is trying to take advantage of the path that

eHarmony Cat Chick


Drunk Packers Wench

blazed for her, she needs to step her game up. She actually stops crying halfway through, and instead of unloading on her intruding friends, she merely locks the door. Weak. A cat fight would have scored major points.

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.

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