Five Reasons Why Texas A&M Needs to Elope to the SEC

Hey, Texas A&M and the Southeastern Conference: Get a room already! Then get married or whatever because this idle flirtation, which has been going on for years, is getting tired.

For the past few weeks, a potential move by A&M to the SEC has become a hot topic, especially after the A&M Board of Regents met behind the scenes on July 21. Though unconfirmed, many are speculating that Aggieland is majorly bummed that the University of Texas and ESPN have partnered to create the Longhorn Network, which is scheduled to begin broadcasting on August 26. (Here are some of its lame shows.)

The issue also came up during Big 12 media days, which took place July 25 and 26 in Dallas. Then, yesterday, Texas Governor Rick Perry added the proverbial fuel when he told the Dallas Morning News that "conversations are being had" over at A&M about abandoning the Big 12 ship.

Enough! Just get it over with!

Here are five reasons why A&M needs to make this transparent love affair with the SEC a public dealio.

5. The More Yell Leaders and 12th Man in the Public Consciousness, The Better How on Earth can Auburn's War Eagle and Georgia's "Between the Hedges" compete with the "whoop" hand signal, "gig 'em" and the high school bench warmer that wears number 12 12th Man? Short answer: Nobody, uh, can. 4. A Team From Texas Needs to Be in the Best College Football Conference Football in Texas hasn't been the same since the Southwest Conference called it quits in 1996. That's why a squad from the Lone Star State needs to post up in a division that has won the past five BCS National Championships, even if the team is chronically mediocre.

3. The Aggies Will No Longer Be Texas's Bitch Instead of the constant public humiliation at the hands of UT, the Aggies' mortification will be limited to three and a half hours on the fields of Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium, LSU's Tiger Stadium and "The Swamp" in Florida. Progress!

2. The More Rick Perry in the Public Consciousness, The Better Rick Perry was a yell leader (see number 5). What a package deal! Plus, the folks in that there Bible Belt can certainly relate to Perry's football- and Jesus-loving M.O.

1. In the End, It Will Screw UT Everyone needs a self-esteem boost from time to time, and for Texas, that's been picking on A&M. If the Aggies were to hightail it to the SEC, the Longhorns would need to bully Baylor and Texas Tech, and that wouldn't be sexy because everyone else already does.

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