For Wayne Dolcefino's Probation: Five Trespassing Movies

KTRK's investigative reporter Wayne Dolcefino has done a fair amount of good, exposing mismanagement of taxpayer dollars and safety issues concerning the fire department and public schools.

Then again, he also devotes significant energy to rooting out handicapped-parking cheats and wading chest-deep into floodwaters during tropical storms, all in that inimitable Dolcefino style, a style which now includes misdemeanor trespassing. We know how hard it is to keep a low profile when serving your "probation-like supervision," so allow us to suggest some trespass-appropriate movies to help while away those nine months.

5. Flight of the Intruder (1991)

If only the brass had taken the gloves off in Vietnam and let pilots indiscriminately bomb whatever targets they felt like after waking up with a hangover and a case of the clap, Hanoi would now be known as "West Seattle." Brought to you by John "Red Dawn" Milius, who never met a piece of armament he couldn't fetishize.

4. Breaking In (1989)

Boogie Nights was still a loooong way off for Burt Reynolds, and the late `80s/early `90s were not a good time for the former Paul Crewe. Looking at Casey Siemaszko, I guess we know who Pauly Shore copped his look from. On a list of movies penned by John Sayles, this ranks below them all.

Yes, even Piranha.

3. Breach (2007)

The good news is that perennial Hollywood pretty boy Ryan Phillippe made a movie where he actually held his own alongside Chris Cooper. The bad news is nobody saw it, meaning that Way of the Gun sequel is probably just around the corner.

2. Trespass (1992)

Renamed from Looter, apparently to preserve the feelings of the people who stole toilet paper during the L.A. riots, this was the first (and last) movie to unite the two hip-hop "Ice" men (T and Cube). It was also the movie that burned through the last bit of 48 Hours-related goodwill anyone felt towards Walter Hill.

1. Unlawful Entry (1992)

I can't be the only person who saw this and realized that Ray Liotta, who two years earlier had appeared in Goodfellas, had just enjoyed the briefest tenure at the top since William Henry Harrison.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar