4

Forget Etch-a-Sketch: Vintage `60s Toys For Newt, Obama & Rick

A spokesman for Mitt Romney stepped in it this week when he cited the 1960s toy Etch-a-Sketch when discussing how easy it would be for his candidate to pivot, issues-wise, from appealing to the rightwingers of the GOP primary to the more centrist voters in the general election.

It was a bad metaphor for his side, since it reinforced the growing view that Romney doesn't have any core beliefs that he's not willing to change if the political situation calls for it.

But should Mitt Romney be the only 2012 candidate symbolized by a 1960s toy? We think not.

Rick Santorum: Davey & Goliath action figures

"Goliath, there are some consenting adults over there having sex with a condom! I say we stone them!!"

"I don't knooowwww, Davey...."

Newt Gingrich: Moon McDare

The only candidate this year to have the balls to advocate for a moon colony during his administration, Newt Gingrich is Moon McDare personified. The spacesuit allows you to visit any ICU if you have to inform your latest wife you're trading her in for a new model.

Ron Paul: Bozo Bop Bag

No matter how hard you hit him, he's going to bounce back and keep up the fight!! And eventually you will realize it gets pretty damn boring. President Obama: Mystery Date

Oooooh: Which dreamboat Obama will you get? The one who promised not to compromise civil liberties? No, wait -- maybe it will be the one whose views are "still evolving" on gay marriage!! Or maybe even the one who will take on the Wall Street fat cats!! The suspense is killing us!!

And of course, there's another candidate who the so-called lamestream media have foolishly counted out, one who is biding his time until the masses demand him at the convention.

Luckily, he already has a toy.


Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: