A couple years ago during the NFL lockout, much was made of the arrest list compiled by NFL people during the league's self-imposed downtime. (I use the word "people" because it wasn't just players. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers had a coach and a front office person make the list.)
When the season was set to resume in July 2011, we tallied things up to see which team had "won the race" for the Crimesman Trophy for offseason crime (with the actual trophy being a version of the Hesiman, except instead of the right arm pointing out holding off would-be defenders, both arms were being handcuffed).
Not surprisingly, Tampa Bay took home the prize with Kenny Britt singlehandedly putting the Titans in the runner-up spot.
Well, with the league getting a little (stress little) more risk-averse when it comes to employing turds, we might have to readjust how we track the Crimesman for the 2013 offseason, what with Titus Young and Cliff Harris both unemployed right now. These two titans of crime might force us to make the Crimesman an individual award.
"Titus Young and Cliff Harris?" some of you may be asking. Who? Well, I'll tell you.
Let's start with Cliff Harris.
Prior to making the leap to the NFL, Harris was best known for two things:
1. All American level cornerback and kick return skills at the University of Oregon in 2010, including four kickoff returns for touchdowns, five interceptions and a ten-tackle effort in the national championship game against Auburn.
2. Getting suspended from the team in 2011 for repeated traffic offenses, culminating with this beauty where Harris was pulled over for going 118 miles per hour. 118!!! Once he was pulled over, the police officer smelled marijuana in the car, and when asked by the officer who had the pot, Harris famously replied, "We smoked it all."
Oh, here's the footage:
Harris's peccadilloes wound up costing him significantly as instead of being drafted into the league, he signed with the Eagles as an undrafted free agent in April 2012. The Eagles released him before the start of the 2012 season. Eventually, Harris found his way to New York, where the Jets signed him to a reserve/future contract in January 2013.
Unfortunately, Harris never made it to camp as he was released April 30 after he and teammate Claude Davis were found smoking weed in a stationary automobile, perhaps re-enacting the scene that got Harris ejected from Oregon...or this scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High:
Perhaps sensing that his only chance to make a true impact this offseason was to lead the league in crime, Harris followed up his weed arrest with a trip back to Oregon, where he was promptly arrested on May 3 for domestic harassment when he shoved his girlfriend outside a Buffalo Wild Wings in Hillsboro.
Harris topped it all off with a third arrest in nine days when he was 90 minutes late for an 8:30 a.m. court appearance because he was pulled over for speeding.
Three arrests, nine days. Pretty strong, right?
Well, Titus Young says, "Not so fast, my friend!"
Young is a wide receiver out of Boise State who's best known for being drafted in the second round of the 2011 draft by the Detroit Lions, sucker punching teammate Louis Delmas in May 2012, and then getting kicked off the team in November 2012 for, among other things, lining up in the wrong spots during games intentionally and fighting with his position coach on the sidelines.
The Rams signed him off the waiver wire and promptly cut him after about 14 seconds of actual conversation with him, realizing they had just added a sociopath to their roster.
Now Young is chasing the 2013 offseason Crimesman Trophy, and wow, is he out to a fast start!
The first two arrests came Sunday morning, May 5. Yes, two in one day! It went like this:
Former Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young was arrested twice in a 15-hour span Sunday, according to Riverside County, Calif., authorities.
Young was pulled over at 12:01 a.m. Sunday in Southern California after making an illegal left turn, according to the police report. Young was then arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence, booked by the Moreno Valley Police at the Robert Presley Detention Center, issued a citation and later released.
At 2:22 p.m. that same afternoon, officers responded to a local tow yard after a man was seen climbing over a fence. The man turned out to be Young, who said he was looking for his impounded black Mustang.
Young was then arrested for burglary and booked again at the same detention center. He was released from custody on $5,000 bail.
So within a fifteen hour period, Titus Young was pulled over for making a drunken illegal turn and trying to steal his own car out of a tow yard. (By the way, I need to know what type of metallic deterrent was at the top of the fence Young was climbing over. Most tow yards have, at the very least, barbed wire, if not razor wire. How desperate was Young to get his car?? What was on his Sunday agenda?? This is what I would ask if I were questioning him, reason number five million I'd make a terrible cop.)
Most weeks, that would be enough to garner a majority of the headlines. But we are living in the Cliff Harris Era right now, and much like Durant needs to carry the Thunder to a title this post season to emerge from LeBron's shadow, Titus Young realized he needs to step up his game to match Harris' otherworldly crime swag.
So that's what Young did, garnering his third arrest in six days on Friday night:
Orange County sheriff's spokesman Lt. Joe Balicki said the Lions' 2011 second round draft pick allegedly attempted to break into a San Clemente home Friday night, then led deputies on a foot chase and engaged them in a fist fight before being arrested.
Young has been charged with attempted burglary, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest. As of Sunday, he was being held on $75,000 bail.
So right now, Harris and Young are tied with three arrests apiece, although if I had to break the tie, I'd give the title to Young at the moment on the strength of originality (Harris's is always speeding or smoking dope. Always. Unoriginal.) and the multiplicity of his last arrest. I mean...burglary, assaulting an officer, AND resisting arrest? That's the thief's trifecta!
So the 2013 Crimesman race is in full swing!
Your move, Kenny Britt.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.