Stardom is weird.
I've interviewed hundreds of athletes and dozens of entertainers, and roughly 91.2 percent of the time (estimated), it seems like athletes want to be actors/musicians and actors/musicians wish they were athletes.
The moral of the story is twofold -- 1) there are way too many entertainment millionaires who aren't happy just being entertainment millionaires and 2) when celebrities say that they "wouldn't want to be anyone else," 91.2 percent (estimated) of them are lying.
Former NBA journeyman Joe Smith has the good fortune now of getting to have his cake and eat it, too!
Who? You remember Joe Smith, don't you?
Smith is largely remembered for four things:
1. Having the most average, mundane, generic name of any NBA player in league history.
2. Parlaying the status of the number one overall pick in the 1995 NBA Draft (which included future Hall of Famer Kevin Garnett picked fifth) into a 16 year career where he played for nine teams and averaged 11 points and 6 rebounds per game. His career arc was positively Joe Smith-ian. If there is a profile of the "average" NBA rotation player, it probably has 11 points and 6 rebounds.
3. Somehow being the one player that wound up costing a team a draft pick for making a "secret deal" by signing a one year contract and having a silent "wink, wink" agreement to extend with the team, thereby allowing that team to use his "Larry Bird Rule" rights to go over the salary cap. (Minnesota was the team, current Rockets head coach Kevin McHale was the GM.)
4. Getting paid over $61 million for his trouble over his 16 year career.
Now, in retirement, apparently Joe Smith is getting to live out the dream of every athlete, and flipping his decidedly (and literally) average NBA career into a decidedly below average rap career, under the rap moniker "Joe Beast."
This weekend, Smith took dead aim at Justin Bieber and the racially charged lyrics that he spewed like five years ago in a video that recently surfaced. (I'm fairly certain if we are picking the person to go fight the "squash Bieber" battle, Joe Smith is ranked somewhere around 300 millionth, but oh well...):
Yeah, Joe Beast. That should solve the problem.
By the way, flipping the script, a proportional response to "Joe Beast's" shitty rap vibe? How about Master P and his P Miller Ballers at a tournament in Tennessee? Check out the fight that ensues in this video, specifically two things:
1. The kid to the left of the screen who realizes "Holy shit, this could get ugly" and runs out of the gym at about the 0:27 mark
2. The CHAIR SHOT at 0:50 on a dude who is ready to go postal with what looks like a javelin sized lead pipe. I mean, people. Come on....
Can't we all just get along?
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.