From The Movies: Five Worse Picks Obama Could Have Made For The Supreme Court

President Obama has nominated Sonia Sotomayor to replace David Souter on the Supreme Court. Now begins the long and -- hopefully -- entertaining confirmation process where we'll hear about her support of eugenics and that one time in high school she smoked clove cigarettes behind the band hall. As bad as that sounds, the President could've done a hell of a lot worse:

5. Judge Arse -- Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

There's no place on the Supreme Court for a Justice who allows themselves to be moved by emotional pleas and third-hand accounts that are the equivalent of hearsay. Also, he's a giant butt.

4. Judge Reinhold (Judge Reinhold) -- Clerks: The Animated Series (2000)

Reinhold's rulings in Jay AKA The Letter "J" v. Quik Stop Enterprises are just the sort of thing that get high-profile cases thrown out on appeal. Luckily his mistakes were overshadowed by the giant transforming robots and the surprise appearance of Tom Cruise.

3. The Magistrate (Hugh Griffith) -- Oliver! (1968)

It isn't the drinking that's the problem...truth be told, alcoholism was a requirement for serving in Victorian-era courts. No, the magistrate fails that most important of judicial litmus tests, grooming. Those eyebrows, that beard...he even makes Scalia look well-kept.

2. Judge Dredd (Sylvester Stallone) -- Judge Dredd (1995)

Dredd's really more of a Bush guy, given his utter contempt for the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 8th Amendments. Besides, we've already got an Alito.

1. Judge Henry T. Fleming (John Forsythe) -- ...And Justice for All. (1979)

Jack Warden's ledge-dining, helicopter-piloting Judge Francis Rayford is more well known, but Fleming is the guy blackmailing Arthur Kirkland (Al Pacino) to defend him against rape charges after sending Kirkland's innocent client to prison on a technicality. "Out of order" indeed.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar