If you've ever dreamed of being in the Guinness Book of World Records, or if you're a "Hokey Pokey" fanatic, or someone who loves to dance with a lot of people holding umbrellas -- you're in luck.
And if you qualify under all three categories, you just might have an orgasm in public this weekend.
For this weekend in Galveston will see an attempt to break the world record that humans could only have dreamed of breaking back in the days before umbrellas were invented. Yes, daring risk-takers who laugh in the face of danger will attempt to break the record for The Largest Choreographed Umbrella Dance.
Which is indeed a thing.
We're sure we don't have to remind you what the current record-holder is -- most people would forget their kids' names before they forgot "300 people in Bath, England in 2010."
In Galveston, in connection with the Mardi Gras, they are shooting for 600, 700, maybe 800 people. Take that, Bath!!
And it looks like Galveston might get it. Registration has already begun, and trends are good.
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"We were really surprised by the response," said Erin Dhonau, event coordinator for Mardi Gras Galveston. "We've had groups from all over the state join in on this. It's a way the public can get involved and actually be a part of Mardi Gras rather than watching from the sideline."
The specifics: A five-minute rendition of the Hokey-Pokey dance on Friday at 8:30, as part of the Uptown Funky Umbrella Brigade parade downtown.
We're usually immune to stuff like this, but Galveston is still getting a break from us as it continues the Ike comeback.
You can click on the link above if you feel the calling to be part of choreographed umbrella dance history.