I appreciate everyone’s comments, feedback, kind words on yesterday’s post that gave a diary-style breakdown of the 2010 Jim Rome Smack-Off and my perspective on where the show is now compared to where it was during the earlier part of this decade. If you missed it, you can easily go back and read it and I highly encourage reading the comments (and leaving comments, as well!). If I didn’t work for a competitor, I’d advise Rome’s people to read the comments, too. It’s a few dozen people, but the sentiments on the homogenization of the show are shared by many.
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post, I was asked on Twitter, in e-mail and in person by some of you which calls I thought were the best ever in the Smack-Off. So I thought this would be something good to share with everyone on here. It’ll be a trip down memory lane for some of you, for newer Rome listeners you can hear what qualified as a great Smack-Off call back in the day. As an old-school Rome caller, listening to these calls made me feel like Charlie Daniels at the end of this Geico commercial….
….I mean, can’t you just picture Iafrate handing the phone to Vic in NoCal and saying “That’s how you do it, son….”ย (And yes, for you 1560 listeners, I totally ripped that analogy from WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross from his appearence on our show. All credit to JR! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!)
With that in mind, here are twelve of the best ever — twelve “Charlie Daniels” of The Jungle, if you will, each represented once in my 12 Most Memorable Smack-Off calls, complete with where they ranked that year and any necessary backstory. Call them the Dirty Dozen, call them the Old Guard, just don’t call them a “clone.” (They tend to take that the wrong way.)
(Sound courtesy of Andrew Moorehill’s “History of the Smack-Off” page,
and obviously The Jim Rome Show.)
TERRENCE
IN SIERRA MADRE (Number 4 ranked call in 1997)
BACKSTORY: To this day, Terrence is still one of the greatest
callers to never win the Smack-Off. Back in the day, he used to
involve his brother as a prop in his calls. This one was a beauty,
where he shoots his brother at the end and presumably kills him.
Good times!
SCREAMING MIKE (Number 6 ranked call in 1997)
BACKSTORY: Honestly, I have no idea what the backstory of Screaming
Mike is. He was only in one Smack-Off (1997) and to my knowledge,
he never called again. I’m including it because (a) it’s awesome,
and (b) it was the first Smack-Off call I ever heard. I remember
getting hooked on WWF as a kid flipping channels and seeing Captain
Lou Albano screaming like a maniac about the Moondogs winning the tag
team title. I mean, I was in hook, line and sinker on the WWF. Well, I guess that makes Screaming Mike my Jungle equivalent to
Captain Lou Albano.
STEVE CARBONE (Number 1 ranked call in 1998)
BACKSTORY: Steve Carbone is best known for (a) working for Rome
under the title “Phone Slap” in the late `90’s and (b) being my arch-nemesis in the Smack-Off for many years. We’ve since buried the
hatchet (not that the hatchet was ever really out to begin with) and
someday I hope to share a Macho Man-Hulk Hogan Megapowers 1987
handshake with him. In this call, understand at this time Steve was a
ridiculed employee of Rome — ridiculed by, of all people, the
clones. Well, Carbone comes in and lights up Rome’s entire listener
base (and some Jungle Legends) with this rant. Great call.
GINO
IN SAN ANTONIO (Number 3 ranked call in 1998)
BACKSTORY:ย Gino is on the short list of “best callers to never win
the Smack Off.” Old-school Rome listeners remember Gino being
referred to as obese by many people in calls and faxes (yes, faxed
back then!). I met him at a 1997 Tour Stop and was disappointed to
find out I was heavier than him. (Since then, I became heavier than
many more people, and thankfully now, the list is shrinking….47
pounds, BITCHES!) Anyway, Gino needed to be on here.
BOSTON
PHINN (unranked in 1998)
BACKSTORY: Maybe it’s because 1998 was my first Smack-Off, maybe
it’s because I met the guy when he visited Houston, maybe I just like
chowds, but I liked this call from Boston Phinn. Very creative,
almost no sports, and production value at the end. I always thought
this call deserved better.
KERWIN IN RIVERSIDE (Number 2 ranked call in
1999)
BACKSTORY: Kerwin was one of those late `90’s callers that, if he
had won the thing, would have been a true legend still to this day,
because he’d have kept calling. But once he finished runner-up and
then sixth in 2000, he disappeared, probably choosing to, you know,
actually be a productive member of society instead of calling talk
radio. That Kerwin never won and only finished top five once is a
testament to the deep field back in the day.
DOC MIKE DITOLLA (Number 1
ranked call in 2000)
BACKSTORY: This is the last time Doc Mike won the event. Starts
with a Sedale Threatt “sperm lawn sprinkler” blast and only gets
better from there. Doc Mike is the Babe Ruth of the Jungle…only if
Babe Ruth were much thinner and performed root canals.
SILK
IN HUNTINGDON BEACH (Number 1 ranked call in 2001)
BACKSTORY: I can say without hyperbole that this upset was like
Buster Douglas, Villanova 1985, and Boise State over OU all rolled
into one times infinity. Silk is one of the legendary callers of all
time, and an even better guy, but he was never someone who was a
threat to win the Smack-Off. (To his credit, he just didn’t take it
nearly as seriously as the rest of us dorks did.) In this call,
though, he responded to two years of calls and faxes implying that he
was a jobless, penniless, surfer dude. Creative call and, true
story, he had no idea he’d even won until I called him on his cell phone
afterwards to congratulate him. He was biking to the beach to go surfing. One hundred percent truth.
JIM IN FALL RIVER (Number 8 ranked call in 2001)
BACKSTORY: If Boston Phinn is a chowd, he’s more like Wellesley or
Newton. Jim in Fall River? Well, he’s more like….well, Fall
River. Or New Bedford. Or Brockton. Actually, in this call he’s
more like someone from deep in uncivilized parts of the South, what
with the donkey noise in the background. Yes, DONKEY NOISE. Just
listen.
GREG IN VEGAS (Number 2 ranked call in 2003)
BACKSTORY: Greg is my choice for “best caller to never win the
Smack-Off.” If he had managed to steer clear of his
caller-masochistic tendencies, 2003 would have meant the green jacket
for him and only four titles for me. Greg’s best Smack-Off effort
ever (although I really, REALLY enjoyed his call last Friday).
IAFRATE (Number 1 ranked call in 2004)
BACKSTORY: Iafrate is my favorite caller of all-time. Always has
been. For years he was the Susan Lucci of the show, with numerous
runner-up finishes. In 2004, he finally etched his name in the annals
of “Being a Really Good Caller to a Radio Show” history by breaking
through, with a tribute to then-Rome board op, Brian “Whitey”
Albers. The song is a satire of a song a listener named John Neems
had made back in the `90’s called “Michael’s Dad,” a horrific song
about Michael Jordan’s dad James.
JOE IN THE OC (Number3 ranked call
in 2006)
BACKSTORY: Joe in the OC is a little newer than some of the names
above, but he’s been a fixture near the top of the Smack-Off the last
several years. His go-to move is making fun of caller Rachel in
Houston’s (mythical?) bodily hair. It all started on this call.
BONUS
— REALLY BAD SMACK-OFF CALLS
Jeff
in Richmond 2000
ย
Sheryl in Austin 2010
This article appears in Apr 22-28, 2010.
