Giant Boners, Random Women, a Proto-V for Vendetta" Today in Houston-Related eBay Shopping

It's always worth an occasional search for "Houston" on the eBay collectibles page. You never know what you'll come up with.

Like these 10 items:

10. The world's most unsubtle huge erection Current Price: $9.99 Why You Need It: Matt Houston is all man, bitches. Lean back and see just how blatant the "Look at my bulging, throbbing dick" vibe is with this one.

9. "Two Pretty Women" Current Price: $9.90 Why You Need It: While not disputing at all the description, we do wonder if a 3X3 inch faded photo of the world's most voluminous green dresses is actually necessary for anyone not related to these people.

8. The sound of freedom Current Price: $2.97 Why You Need It: Even though Midtown is a pasture here as compared to today, our nation's hottest jets were ready to intercept any threat. And to rattle the windows af Allen Parkway Village.

7. Before it become ironically hip Current Price: Part of a set that goes for $4. Why You Need It: Just to annoy some hip club entrepreneur who wishes to Christ that thing was still standing, so he could open an oh-so-edgy club with it.

6. Thirty-six year old beer Current Price: $1.39 Why You Need It: Pearl Beer: Please don't check the born-on date.

5. V is for Ventriloquist Current Price: $9.99 Why You Need It: Years before the comic book, he was out there, waiting.

4. 1967 Houston Rodeo belt buckle Current Price: $14 Why You Need It: For the sake of all that is holy when it comes to cowboy belt buckles, we pray that is the world's largest quarter.

3. What might have been in River Oaks CurrentPprice: $15 Why You Need It: As far as we can tell, this is where the dignified River oaks Country Club is now. Just think, it could have looked like a Pasadena strip mall.

2. The immortal Howard Polett Current Price: $9.99 Why You Need It: They just don't pitch like this anymore.

1. If only we played in some sort of unique stadium Current Price: $4.99 Why You Need It: Seven years old, and already the Astrodome is so passe they can't be bothered to have the team shown playing there.

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