Giselle Bundchen, Carrie Underwood, Bridget Moynihan and Jessica Simpson -- Yep, We're Talking Football

He was an obscure quarterback who started his pro career as a backup. He’s become an all-pro putting up big numbers in a major media market. He’s rather handsome and on his way to becoming a big star. The guys want to be him. The women want to be with him.

Sure, I could be talking about Tom Brady, the backup QB at Michigan who was a sixth-round draft pick of the New England Patriots, where he backed up Drew Bledsoe until an unfortunate injury thrust him into the limelight. His looks and charm made him a superstar just as the Patriots came together as a Super Bowl force. He’s dated and dumped a very attractive actress (who’s a former model), and he’s currently dating a Victoria’s Secret model.

I could be talking about Brady, but I’m not. Instead, I’m talking about a quarterback from an obscure college named Eastern Illinois. He was an undrafted free agent of the Dallas Cowboys, where he was a backup QB until replacing Drew Bledsoe as the starter. Unlike Brady, he’s ignored the models, instead concentrating on the beautiful women of the pop and country music biz.

That’s right, I’m talking about Tony Romo.

But there’s a major difference between these two guys, two of the luckiest bastards on the face of the planet. Tom Brady’s shown the ability to win the big game. He’s shown the ability to produce in the clutch, when it matters the most, and he’s done it with mediocre players as well as with great players. Romo, despite having one of the greatest receivers at his command, as well as one of the game’s best tight ends, has proven unable to win a big game.

Now, Terrell Owens is crying about the media’s treatment of Romo, ironically speaking about how unfair it is to blame the quarterback for the team’s problems (Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb are currently awaiting T.O.’s apologies).

Sure, Tom Brady had already won a Super Bowl or two before Bridget Moynihan came along, while Tony Romo barely had any time as a starting QB before Carrie Underwood. And Brady was already one of the game’s best quarterbacks by the time he dumped Moynihan for Giselle Bundchen whereas Romo had merely choked away a playoff game when Jessica Simpson came into his life. So perhaps the comparison isn’t as solid as one would think.

But I have an idea. I think I know what Romo needs to do to reach the heights of Tom Brady. He has to knock up Jessica Simpson then dump her ass for someone just as hot and just as famous. That’s what Brady did with Moynihan. Of course, with Romo’s history of performance, he’ll just choke it up in the clutch.

And then, T.O., you’ll really have something to cry about. -- John Royal

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