Glenn Beck Exposes A Houston Media Conspiracy, As Only He Can

Last Friday, at a home in a quiet northwest Houston neighborhood, a 62-year-old woman opened a package containing what she thought was a box of chocolates. Unfortunately, it contained a pipe bomb: she took shrapnel to the face and was rushed to the hospital. Several days later, local media reported that the woman was the wife of oil executive Brock Moore, president of Adams Resources Exploration.

So why the lag-time in the Big Reveal? One man may have the answer. And that man is Glenn Beck.

"Gosh, why doesn't this story find its way into the media?" the pundit asked rhetorically Monday. And just to make sure this story hit closer to home, he asked viewers to "imagine your grandmother having nails driven into her face. These nails and shrapnel blew so high they were found on the roof of their home."

By the time he made the comments, the story had been on Houston TV stations and in the Houston Chronicle.

Beck seems to think there is something sinister afoot -- the media is keeping a lid on the "radicals" he believes sent the pipe bomb. "Initial reports mention that it wasn't known whether the woman was the intended target or the home was. They're sending a house chocolates?" (FYI: Hair Balls hasn't received any orders from the White House and/or Nancy Pelosi to quash this story. Yet.)

And since the media is keeping mum, Beck asked: "just for the heck of it, what do you say we stay on top of it as well? We could use your help. If you are in the Gulf Coast region, some weird stuff is going on. Please send us a tip on this story, or anything else you see."

Thanks to Beck's musings, this story is making the rounds in the blogosphere; another indication of how the "mainstream media" is conspiring further the liberal agenda. We're just not sure exactly what he's saying: the media wants to keep the bomber's identity secret so he can hurt more people?

History, of course, proves Beck correct: Back in the '90s, The New York Times actually published the manifesto of a certain bomber who had maimed and murdered people for years. Obviously, the Times wanted to further the dude's nascent publishing career. However, the paper's diabolical plan backfired -- the bomber's brother recognized the writing, and the guy was quickly caught!

But hopefully this time, with Beck on the ball, this new bomber won't have a chance to publish any sort of screed. Besides, it's best to reserve tired idiotic babble for the masters.

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Contributor Craig Malisow covers crooks, quacks, animal abusers, elected officials, and other assorted people for the Houston Press.
Contact: Craig Malisow