You know what you were needing right now?
Video of a screaming Rick Perry making the sanity-challenged rube-riler Glenn Beck an "honorary Texan" in front of a yahooing crowd of East Texans.
What, you didn't need that?
Burnt Orange Report posted the amateur video, which is just shaky and unfocused enough to give it the feel of an undercover hidden-camera report on some dangerous, scary cult.
Not that people cheering wildly for the fact-deficient Beck could ever be accused of being such a thing. Unless you wanted to, of course.
Perry has previously granted Honorary Texan status to Rush Limbaugh, so we can't say this whole Beck thing came out of nowhere. We assume Michael Savage and Ann Coulter are next in line.
We are left to wonder which of these actual quotes from Beck clinched the deal when it came to awarding him this honor:
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
-- "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up.' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining."
-- "The only [Katrina victims] we're seeing on television are the scumbags."
-- "This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture....I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist."
We're guessing it's the last one.