Listen up, and listen good: The Nuge has spoken. He has dubbed Barak Obama a "subhuman mongrel" and a "chimpanzee," and thereby exposed the entire Democratic party as the chimpanzee-lovers they clearly are. The Nuge ain't no chimp-lover. The Nuge doesn't fling feces. He only covers himself in it in order to avoid the draft. (Or lies about it). Either way, The Nuge makes feces work for him. That's the difference between communists and The Nuge.
The erstwhile Motor City Madman is slated to accompany Texas Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott on the campaign trail this week, and Abbott is taking some flack for The Nuge's impromptu remarks in an interview by Guns.com.
A spokesman for Abbott told Politico, "Ted Nugent is a forceful advocate for individual liberty and constitutional rights -- especially the Second Amendment rights cherished by Texans. While he may sometimes say things or use language that Greg Abbott would not endorse or agree with, we appreciate the support of everyone who supports protecting our Constitution."
Spokesman Matt Hirsch showed remarkable restraint, if you ask us. Anyone can support protecting the Constitution. But not everyone can fill up nearly one side of a double-live, triple-platinum ejaculation of hot wax with an extra-gonzo 11-minute version of "Stranglehold" that will peel the skin off your ass well before the first minute.
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Greg Abbott knows this. Greg Abbott knows the singular power and clarity of vision that can only be in the possession of a man who was never inoculated from Cat Scratch Fever.
Don't you think if Wendy could find as relevant and prescient a supporter as The Rev. Atrocious Theodosius, she would be on it faster than you can shout "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang"?
Here's the bottom line: Greg Abbott may not "endorse" calling a black man a "subhuman mongrel." He may not even "agree" with it. He may be more diplomatic with his words. But diplomacy ain't The Nuge's arena. The Nuge's arena is Capital Centre outside D.C. on a hot, sweaty August night in 1979 when he plowed through "Free For All" clad only in a loincloth. Legend has it that every woman in the first three rows got pregnant and his axe caught the clap.
Point is, The Nuge doesn't mince words. He says what he thinks. And he gives us the impression that he says what his candidate thinks, so that his candidate doesn't have to say it. So that's why The Nuge has spoken.