If you're going to try to defraud the government, please -- for your own self-esteem -- choose a more glamorous plan than one involving adult diapers.
When the announcement came in from the US Attorney's Office headlined that a local company owner had been "INDICTED IN ADULT DIAPER FRAUD CASE," we couldn't wait to open the e-mail.
Had some nefarious con man sold adult diapers that turned out to actually not be absorbent? (We can see Tom Hanks in the SNL's "Sabra Price is Right" skit: "Yes, yes, it no say 'Depends' on the box. But it's Depends guts, it's Depends guts!!")
Or maybe the guy was trying to pawn off XX-Large kid's diapers on unsuspecting seniors?
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Ene Etim Hogan, also known as Ernest, was indicted on 10 counts of health-care fraud for billing Medicaid for "adult diapers, underpads, wipes and pull-up briefs" that he had never provided customers.
There's money in them there diapers, it seems: "Hogan allegedly billed Medicaid for claims totaling approximately more than $1 million and received payments for those claims totaling approximately $683,360," the US Attorney's office says.
Hogan faces 10 years and a $250,000 fine for each count.
-- Richard Connelly