If your white-power group is having trouble finding cool Memorial Day rallies where you can wave the stars 'n stripes 'n swastikas, then we suggest you check out reputable racist-friendly Web site Stormfront.org for cool holiday ideas. We especially recommend that any Texas KKK chapters (or "klaverns," as they're technically known) join the Virginia-based Knights of the Southern Cross Soldiers of the Ku Klux Klan's rally near Arlington National Cemetery.
Imperial Wizard Brother Dennis is asking all his sheet-wearing brethren to bring their state flags and wave them in honor of soldiers who sacrificed their lives for this country, especially the soldiers who sacrificed for that other country, the Confederate States of America. (The Wiz points out that he, unlike the "foreign born" Obama, is a veteran, and the oath he swore then means just as much to him as the oath he took when he earned the official right to poke holes in a pillowcase and slip it over his head.)
The rally will include musical entertainment by someone/thing called Orion, as well as what will surely be a heartfelt cross-lighting ceremony at dusk. But remember, it's "family friendly. No alcohol, no drugs!!" (No pets, either). If you hurry, you can still probably get there in time. And feel free to stay there as long as you want!
But in addition to no drugs and alcohol, here are some other rules:
DO stop the liberal agenda DON'T apologize for being white DO stand up for your Second Amendment rights DON'T stand by while the Fool-in-Chief and his racist wife destroy the country DO go to work every day DON'T sit on your welfare ass and breed for the sole purpose of having the rest of America support you
Follow those rules, and it's sure to be one KLAN-tastic Memorial Day!
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.