Foot

Hey Playboy, Forget Erin Andrews and Shana Hiatt. Suzy Kolber Is the Sexiest Sportscaster.

Back in 2000, the good folks at Playboy decided to find out who was the sexiest sportscaster. Though many of the women nominated didn’t want the title – they wanted to be known for their journalistic skills, not their boobs – a winner was determined, and it was said that Jill Arrington was rather pleased to have won. Several years later, another of the nominees, Lisa Guerrero would grace the pages of Playboy (image not safe for work).

And that prologue was necessary to get to the now, with Playboy once again attempting to determine the sexiest sportscaster. They’ve gone to a whole new list, so you can forget about casting votes for Jill or Julian or Melissa or Bonnie. At least for this competition.

The nominees this time out aren’t, for the most part, as well-known as those from 2000. The most famous of the nominees is probably Erin Andrews, who has developed quite the following on the Internet. And Shana Hiatt, who previously graced the pages of Playboy (this image also isn’t safe for work) back in her modeling days, is another of the nominees.

But I’m not writing this to discuss this year’s nominees. I don’t care about this year’s nominees. I write because I’m in a bit of shock. I write because I can’t quite figure out how Playboy can conduct a contest for the sexiest sportscaster and not include the sexiest sportscaster.

That’s right. I’m talking about Suzy Kolber.

You know Suzy. She’s the sideline reporter for Monday Night Football. One of the best, funniest, and most profane sports Web sites is named for her: Kissing Suzy Kolber. (Warning, this site is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended.) And, well, we all know how Joe Namath feels about Suzy.

I like Suzy Kolber. I think she’s cute. I like her voice. I like her smile. I like the twinkle her eyes. She’s not the conventional, drop-dead beauty that is Erin Andrews, but she’s got that girl-next-door thing really working in her favor. And no, I’m not talking about Hef’s idea of girls next door. I like that Suzy knows sports and that there is a hint of intelligence in her conversation, something that isn’t too common on ESPN much anymore.

Let’s just say that Joe Namath isn’t the only person in the world who wants to kiss Suzy.

So go ahead and cast your vote to Erin Andrews, and Google up the nude photos of Shana Hiatt. But if you really want to vote for the sexiest sportscaster, go over to the Playboy Web site and write in Suzy’s name. Because Erin might have the boobs, but Suzy’s got the whole package. – John Royal

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 32-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well as the glorious.
Contact: Houston Press