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Keep Houston Press Free
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Hideous, Strange and Disturbing Photos from Houston Real-Estate Listings

For a while now, the lively real estate blog Swamplot has been running a daily feature on well, unusual photos included on listings in the area.

Editor Gus Allen tells Hair Balls the photos are not merely picked on the basis of their oddity or horrendousness, although there's plenty of that.

"Listings photos are often so clichéd, especially if you spend a lot of time looking through them -- the same couches, the same angles. It's a terrific relief when you come across pix that have a little extra 'ooomph,'" he says.

The idea has caught on to the extent that most of the photos now are sent in by readers who troll the HAR listings for likely candidates.

Like the one above, which we're sure would absolutely cement a sale to anyone...who keeps a lot of dolls.

Here are a dozen others:

12. Tall people need not apply With the window, you never have to worry about claustrophobia.

11. Suitable for indoor soccer "I SAID, CAN YOU GET ME A BEER -EER -EER -EER -EER?"

10. Sorry, it's not a two-holer That has to be the nicest outhouse door we've ever seen, even without the traditional half-moon.

9. Hands off the table Nice of them to demonstrate that the TV works, though.

8. Do not look directly into the kitchen!! To avoid retinas being burnt to a crisp, you are advised to use one of those shoebox-with-a-hole solar eclipse things when entering this part of the house.

7. Thankyoumama, for buying this house Wise men say only fools rush in to this purchase.

6. The reason your wood floors are scratched Unless the dog comes with the house, we're not really sure why you're showing it.

5. The loneliest bear Don't jump, little bear!! You have so much to live for!!

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4. Your decorating ideas may differ Sure, we'll toss in the mattress if you meet our price.

3. Can accommodate your tour bus and stretch limo What do you mean you don't have either?

2. If these walls could speak Who needs Post-it notes?

1. Handyman's dream We gotta say, the outhouse looks more inviting.

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