Hole-A-Balloo, Kaneck Kaneck: Aggie Journalist Wonders Why A&M Is Riddled With Glory Holes

When we struggled our way through J-school before finally dropping out in a PICA-pole induced snit, we never thought that the day would come when we would find ourselves on the Texas-Louisiana glory-hole beat for a blog called Hair Balls, but here we are...

Shortly after we posted this story about a Houston-based ATF agent with what is believed to be a custom-built glory hole in his New Orleans-area hotel room, alert reader "Autumn" tipped us off to "A Hole Different World," a recent editorial in The Battalion, the campus newspaper at Texas A&M.

In it, Aggie pundit Richard Creecy lamented what he sees as a shocking number of glory holes in Aggieland.

"Most Aggies pride themselves on the aesthetic appeal of campus. Both antiquated and modernly designed buildings are surrounded by large open cobblestone walkways and courtyards dotted with old growth trees, at least for now," writes Creecy.

That dubious proposition about the majesty of the A&M campus out of the way, he moves on to the heart of the matter: "But this lovely campus has a dark side some will find hard to swallow. Often as most students go about their business, illicit and anonymous sex occurs publicly in the very buildings we call home." [Editor's note: Is it really possible to use the phrase "hard to swallow" unknowingly in a glory-hole op-ed? Only in Aggieland.]

Creecy goes on to pass along an anecdote from an A&M professor who once took his three kids to a campus bathroom and stumbled upon what sounds like a Roman orgy -- "several males openly performing various sex acts" -- and admit that these Larry Craig-style shenanigans have been going on a long time. And indeed, what large college campus doesn't have its share? But Creecy seems to believe that A&M should be an exception to the rule.

"[S]ince these sexual opportunities seem to attract largely the gay community, the situation begs the question: why Texas A&M? Our school is ranked the 8th-most conservative school in America by the Princeton Review, and seems like an improbable location."

So he put the question an anonymous Craigslist glory hole devotee, who explained that it probably had something to do with the fact that Aggieland is situated midway between Austin, Dallas, and Houston. Sounds unconvincing to us. A cursory Craigslist search suggests that there are more convenient options for dwellers of those sinful Gomorrahs.

Creecy does get closer to the mark later in his editorial. "[P]erhaps due to the aforementioned conservative tendency of [Bryan-College Station], there seems to be a larger number of homosexuals in the area than the general population realizes. Most have not come out yet and many have no intention of doing so."

Which sort of flies in the face of this six-year-old Michelle Malkin screed, in which she cites the existence of glory holes at Cal-Berkeley as proof of the godless liberal gay agenda. "A deviant practice common at filthy truck stops has infected the hallowed ivory tower, and all the campus Left can do is blame the messenger and play the victim card?" Malkin thundered, before calling Cal-Berkeley "Sodom and Gomorrah University." Wonder if she would call A&M the same thing...

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John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax