4

Houston Blows Up Real Good

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

The awesomely morbid folks at Carlos Labs have created a "Ground Zero" nightmare generator for every city on Earth. Using Java Script and some Google Map magic, anyone can pinpoint a location in the world, AND BLOW IT THE HELL UP.

You can choose your own weapon of mass destruction and see how big "ground zero" will be, seeing just how far each weapon will inflict damage. You have at least seven different sizes of various atomic and hydrogen bombs at your disposal. There is even an "asteroid strike" option, which makes us never want to look up into the night sky with wonder, ever, ever again.

Of course, we dialed up Houston, right after we found the houses of our junior high school bully, our old bosses, R&B crooner/amateur boxer Chris Brown, and the first girl whoever pummeled our hearts to smithereens.

The damage done to H-Town depends on the tonnage of the bomb, of course. For the purposes of our map, we used City Hall. A "Little Boy" atomic bomb like the one our country dropped on Hiroshima in 1945 would extend out to at least Montrose/Studemont to the west and southways toward Dowling St.

The Russian-developed fifty megaton "Tsar Bomb" would go clear out to Tomball and extend miles away to Galveston Bay. Though once something of that size hits Pasadena, we're somehow thinking the damage would be immensely worse. The whole town is pretty much flammable, ya know.

Now a direct asteroid hit on Houston would pretty much decimate the entire southern United States and Mexico, with fallout going all the way to Brazil and extending north over the North Pole. Not even Bruce Willis, John Coffey from The Green Mile and a ragtag group of wildcatters on a space shuttle would be able to save us.

So.....who likes kittens?

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.