Houston Chronicle Sports Goes Bleacher Report

The Houston Chronicle sports page is a sad shadow of what it used to be. Tons of talented writers have been laid off the past several years, or they have departed on their own because they just couldn't take it anymore. Many of the reporters left are having to double up on beats, like Joseph Duarte is doing with the Cougars and Owls, or they are essentially working alone on a beat normally reported by two people, like Zachary Levine is having to do with the Astros.

It's almost impossible to read a story over a mobile device without having to scroll through about 5,000 photos first. There's the new high-priced columnist who writes an insightful post comparing Roger Clemens to Spider Man. And let's not forget yesterday's slideshow of Roger Clemens working out with a softball team.

So seeing as how the Chron's new editorial geniuses seem to want to be Bleacher Report without even being able to offer up Bleacher Report-level analysis, I thought I would offer up some more suggestions to get them through the next couple of weeks and generate lots of page clicks for them. And seeing how much money Turner Sports just paid for the Bleacher Report, maybe they'll come in and save the Chronicle as well.

15. The 50 Hottest Women Banged by Roger Clemens.

14. Which local team's cheerleaders look the best in bikinis? We post photos from their swimsuit calendars and let you decide.

13. While you're looking at cheerleader photos, how about watching these videos we took from behind the scenes of the making of the bikini calendars? And make sure to watch close because maybe you'll see a little side-boob.

12. The Ten Hottest Photos of Debbie Clemens.

11. Jim Crane and Bane, who's the greatest villain, and why don't we ever see them in the same place at the same time?

10. Roger Clemens, returning to baseball this weekend, is known for his on-field meltdowns. Here are his ten best, along with special guest commentary from Mike Piazza.

9. What is the state of Houston's buffet restaurants now that Carlos Lee has been traded?

8. Who knew the Rockets were still in Houston? To prove it, we offer up a slideshow of Jeremy Lin, and with each photo, here's one of the thousands of puns on Lin's name that you've already seen at least five thousand times too many. 7. Fan poll: Is Bob McNair a saint, or is he just the greatest man in the history of Houston sports?

6. Arian Foster and veganism. Is this the cause of his fumbling problem? We go to the comments and let you provide the answers.

5. The General, John McClain, offers up his 100 top problems with the Houston Texans as displayed by the fourth-stringers vying for roster spots in last week's exhibition game with the San Francisco 49ers.

4. By the way, did you once know that John McClain was an extra in a movie starring Diane Lane? So here are his thoughts on Lane accompanied by a slideshow of her sexiest photos.

3. Dear Aggies, here's some coverage of the Houston Cougars so that you'll know which of Houston's coaches you'll be stealing next season.

2. Fan Poll: Which is the best pro team mascot in the history of Houston sports: Toro, Junction Jack or Clutch?

1. Superman or Andre Johnson: a 1,000-word essay on who can leap the highest.

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