Congratulations, Houston-- you're one of the 10 worst cities in which to raise a family.
Don't feel so bad, though -- it seems just about every Texas city made this list, put together by Quality Health News (Motto: "Generic Name News was taken first").
The listmakers said they looked at graduation rates, park space and the overall crime rate. Detroit was Number One -- the worst of the worst -- but Texas soon started popping up.
Number Five: "Dallas, Texas. Dallas is the first of three Texas cities to make the list, proving that the Lone Star State isn't a shining example of a place to raise your family. Few playgrounds, a 46 percent graduation rate, and high crime allow Dallas to round out the top five."
Number Seven: "Fort Worth, Texas. Not surprisingly, Fort Worth has a lot of the same problems that Dallas has: low graduation rates and high crime. One area where it does do better is in the number of playgrounds."
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At Number Eight: "Houston, Texas. Not everything is bigger in Texas. Sure, the dropout rate in Houston is bigger and the crime rate is bigger, but the number of park playgrounds is certainly smaller."
Hey, they got the "everything is bigger" cliche in there! But somehow, sadly, they were not able to finesse a "Houston, we have a problem" reference.
Maybe next time, dudes. If we bother to pay attention.