4

Houston Ranks Second in All-Important Commando Cilantro Index

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Damn, guys, what's up with Houston only being the 39th manliest city in the land?

We're only one spot above Seattle, and we all know what kind of dudes hang out there. Not very manly dudes, that's who.

In all seriousness, this is easily one of the lamest surveys ever. Sure, we get it: Some company, which we won't bother naming and which actually isn't even that manly by its own standards, comes up with a random set of metrics and sends out a press release to all the papers in the winning cities, and then everyone and their mother reports on it. It's all a bunch of marketing bullsh... Huh. Wait a second. Actually, it's really not a bad idea.

We here at Hair Balls hereby declare Houston the second best city to buy cilantro while going commando. The rankings are based on a complicated set of metrics which we'd be happy to share at a later date.

Here are the complete rankings:

America's Best Cities to Buy Cilantro While Not Wearing Underwear

1. Topeka, Kansas 2. Houston, Texas 3. San Jose, California 4. Miami, Florida 5. Erie, Indiana 6. Little Rock, Arkansas 7. Seattle, Washington 8. Pawtucket, Rhode Island 9. Dallas, Texas 10. Phoenix, Arizona

Yeah, that's right. Houston once again beats Dallas. Huzzah!

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.