Houston, You're Not Gay Enough, Survey Finds

Although Houston is the biggest city in the country with an openly gay mayor and the launching pad for the landmark Lawrence v. Texas case, we're just not queer enough for some people: The latest Gay/Lesbian Index rankings of the top 20 gayest cities includes Austin and Dallas -- freakin' Dallas -- but not Space City.

According to Richard Florida's story for the Daily Beast, the index was "developed by Gary Gates, a demographer at UCLA's Williams Institute" and it "tells you how the proportion of same-sex couples among all households of a given metro area compares to the average for the entire U.S."

Hair Balls is not a demographer -- we can barely work a calculator -- but when Columbus, Ohio winds up gayer than Houston, the math just seems freakishly fuzzy. And don't even get us started on Denver, Ann Arbor, or Ithaca.

Since, according to Florida, "the Gay/Lesbian Index is derived from data provided by cohabitating same-sex couples who responded to the U.S. Census Bureau's 2008 American Community Survey," we wonder if Houston's gays were just too busy gaying it up at Ripcord or the Mining Company to respond to census surveys.

Or maybe our gays are just too freewheelin' to be tied down in relationships. Whatever the reason, Hair Balls can't stand the idea of being out-gayed by Austin and Dallas -- what's next, College Station? -- and we better act fast in order to get in the next rankings.

Florida writes: "Places that attract gay people and lesbians tend to have the same open-minded attitudes and business styles that foster innovation. A visible LGBT community is the proverbial 'canary in the coal mine,' signaling openness to new ideas, new business models and diverse and different thinking kinds of people -- precisely the characteristics of a local ecosystem that can attract cutting-edge entrepreneurs and mobilize new companies."

Yet some of the gayest cities -- San Francisco, San Diego, Santa Rosa -- are in a state that's broke as a crackwhore between blowjobs. Something's wrong. We're here, we're queer, we demand a recount.

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