Houston Zoo's Valentine's Day Gets Out-Sexed By Michigan

Battle Creek, Michigan is getting all sexy for Valentine's Day. Or at least its zoo is.

In what a news station is calling "an R-rated show" that is "sure to ruffle some feathers," the Binder Park Zoo is offering "Zoorotica," where couples are given "an intimate look at animal mating rituals."

Tickets are sold out, and there's a waiting list.

What about it, Houston Zoo? Can't we see how porcupines fuck? (Very carefully, we're told.)

"We've done a Valentine's Day presentation for several years now," Zoo spokesman Brian Hill tells Hair Balls.

For $70, non-members get to hear about gorillas beating their chests to attract mates and the "dancing, primping and displays of strength" that make up the mating game among animals.

And there's food:

Your "Wild for Love" champagne dinner will begin with a roasted beet baby field green salad topped with warmed goat cheese medallion and an herb citrus vinaigrette. The main course is a duet plate of seared filet au pouive with truffle butter mash, and grilled filet of salmon set with a citrus beurre blanc, served with sauté pearl onion, haricot verts and baby carrots. For dessert, a chocolate lava cake with molten ganache center, with fresh raspberry sauce and vanilla gelato in a short bread cup garnished with chocolate dipped strawberries will be served.

Yeah, but do you get to see animals having sex, Hill?

"Ah, no.  But [the] presentations always include an amazing collection of photographs and the Question and Answer period at the end of the presentation is always, well, enlightening," he says.

Ah, Houston. Someday you'll be as edgy as Battle Creek.

-- Richard Connelly

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