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Keep Houston Press Free
4

Houstoned Theatre Presents: Students, Sweatshops and, um, a Gigantic Telephone

For the second time, activists from University of Houston Students Against Sweatshops stormed President Renu Khator's office to demand she sign the Designated Suppliers Program, which would help protect the rights of workers who manufacture University apparel. And for the second time, Khator was not in her office, but this time the group had a giant, cardboard cutout of a phone receiver. The following is Houstoned Theatre’s Simpsons-inspired take on what probably went down.

Students: (Ring bell.)

Khator’s Secretary: Who is it?

Students: An angry mob.

Khator’s Secretary: Do you have an appointment?

Student #1: Umm, no. But we have a giant cardboard cutout of a telephone receiver.

Khator’s Secretary: Why?

Students: Because it’s time for Khator to answer the call!

Khator’s Secretary: But you didn’t call. If you did, you would’ve known she wasn’t in the office today … again.

Student #2: I told you we should’ve called ahead this time.

Khator’s Secretary: I guess you could try again later.

Student #1: But what do we do with this giant phone?

Khator’s Secretary: I don’t know, maybe you could use it to advertise a telethon.

Student #3: Or use it in our upcoming protest against communication mergers.

Khator’s Secretary: Yeah, you could make a list – you could write them on the back of the phone!

Students begin writing down ideas for phone cutout use on back of cutout.

Enter Khator.

Students: Sign the DSP! (Hold up telephone cutout.)

Khator: What’s the DSP?

Students: The Designated Supplies Program.

Khator: Is that it? (Points to telephone cutout.)

Student #3: No, this is a telephone cutout.

Khator: Huh?

Students: It’s time for you to answer the call!

Khator: Wait, I thought I had to sign something, now I have to answer a call?

Student #1: No, you would answer the call by signing the DSP.

Khator: Oh, well, can I keep the cutout as a reminder?

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Student #1: Is that on the list?

Student #2: Um …(Scans list.) No.

Student #1: I’m sorry, we can’t.

-- Dusti Rhodes

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