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Keep Houston Press Free
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How Did KHOU Miss These Horrible Halloween Costumes?

Channel 11 had a

shocking report

this morning about how kids' Halloween costumes are becoming "skanky."

To back this up, they showed a lot of costumes consisting of long pants and shirts that -- gasp! -- displayed belly buttons , with no regard for whether they were innies or outies.

They interviewed a worker at Halloween Express, who somehow said the store allows parents to choose the outfits for their kids. As opposed to forcing them to buy certain outfits, we guess.

Anyway, the piece failed to show what are no doubt the top five costumes you don't want to see your kid wear this Halloween:

5. The Jenna Jameson Jumper. This kicky little number features an EZ-Wash fabric that makes it a cinch to get rid of any kind of stain.

4. The Bill White Mask. "Trick or fucking treat!! Trick or fucking treat!! There better be no 'healthy treats' here or there's going to be a fucking riot!!"

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3. The Brandon Backe Wedding Suit. It's go time! (12-pack of Natty Lite not included.)

2. Britney Spears' Exit-the-SUV Costume. The paparazzi will love it! Parents, not so much.

1. Ass-less Chaps. For the budding Montrose resident.

-- Richard Connelly

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