How Not to Text a Teen


How Not to Text a Teen
Lewd sexts to 14-year-old

By Richard Connelly

Michael Sherard Harris, 20, has been charged with sexting a girl he knew to be 14 years old whom he had met at church, which is the go-to place for finding kids to send sexually explicit messages to.

Instead of, you know, listening to the actual sermon, which we're guessing doesn't include "And God said let there be online solicitation of minors."

The girl's father discovered the texts and contacted his ex-wife, the girl's mom. She called cops.

According to court documents, the girl "confirmed the text messages were sexually explicit in nature and stated that sometimes she didn't even know what they meant."

Let's check them out.

Examples included in the court documents:

• "I wanna get in the shower with you...put my hands everywhere the water goes"

• "Id put my hands on your lower back and kiss you"

• "I'd make out with you"

• "I wish you could see how big it is"

• "Well, when you kiss my shoulder I slide my game inside your pajama pants"

• "That's when I put my game on your inner thigh"

• "I'll kiss you between your legs"

• "Can I lick you"

• "I wish I was running my mouth all over your body right now"

It all sounds kinda PG-rated, until you remember this is a 20-year-old messaging someone who can't even drive yet. Then the creepiness factor goes through the roof.

Harris has been charged with online solicitation of a minor.


Cat Murders Plague North Side

By John Nova Lomax

At least one and possibly two different cat murderers are operating on the city's northwest side.

In a grisly reprise of several other similar killings in the Timbergrove area, one of which affected us personally, the Houston Chronicle reported that Sandy Luna's kitty Lucky was disemboweled and put on display in a neighbor's yard in late July.

The Timbergrove killings have taken place on both sides of West 11th Street and T.C. Jester, though there seems to be a cluster of them west of White Oak Bayou.

We also received a report recently of nine cats found dead several miles up T.C. Jester in the Inwood neighborhood. It is believed that they were poisoned. These cats were semi-feral felines whom some in the neighborhood regularly fed. Three were found dead in one woman's driveway, with the other six found near other homes.

Coupled with this outrageous, unrelenting heat, sickos like this are making it a terrible time to be an outdoor kitty on the northwest side.

"Please be careful if you live in this area and let others know," advises tipster Christina Fojas. "Possibility of poison makes it dangerous for every living thing in the community."

If you see any suspicious activity, you are urged to call the Houston Police Department's non-emergency number (713-884-3131).


There’s tons of stuff each day on the Houston Press blogs; you’re only getting a taste of it here in the print edition. Head to blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs (or “/rocks” or “/eating” or “/artattack”).


By popular demand, we continued our survey of various bikinis. This time around it included women in national-flag bikinis such as Canada and Mexico, and how they embodied their nation's anthems, and nine bikinis from outer space, and how their designers overlooked some basic practical flaws. And for Labor Day we listed the ten worst bosses in cartoons, from the head of Spacely Sprockets to Jonny Quest's dad to, of course, Montgomery Burns.

Spaced City

The Houston Zoo lost Doc, a painting orangutan who was an attraction for more than 20 years. Larry the Cable Guy discussed an emotional catharsis he had at Houston's Art Car Parade, and a new coalition vowed to stop human trafficking in town without talking about any actual statistics.

Art Attack

There was a lot of news around Houston as far as reality-competition shows go: In the same week, American Idol auditions took place at Reliant Stadium and the Galveston Island Convention Center, Spring-based singer R.L. Bell advanced to the semifinals for ABC's Karaoke Battle U.S.A. and former Rocket Ron Artest was announced as a cast member for the new season of Dancing with the Stars. We dreamed up ten more celebrity family businesses after we heard about Wahlburgers and tracked down five of our least favorite wedding themes. We tried to calm comics geeks by pointing out that the DC reboot actually isn't that big of a deal. And we found some amazing, Post-it-sized paintings at a little-frequented gallery in the East End.

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