Home Alone: Not like in the movies.
Home Alone: Not like in the movies.

Humberto Flores: Comes Home to Questions from Cops about His Abandoned Kids, and from His Wife about Those Hickeys on His Neck

You leave the house to go see a lady friend. Your four-year-old kid is obviously mature enough to look after your one-year-old kid, especially when you're horny.

Here's what you don't want to run into when you come back a few hours later: The cops waiting to charge you with abandoning a child, and your wife wanting to know about all the hickeys on your neck.

Not a stellar day, although on the plus side you did get you some hickeys.

Humberto Flores of north Houston entered a guilty plea to abandoning a child yesterday, and now he faces seven months in jail and possible deportation. Not to mention a pissed-off wife.

KPRC reports on the court proceeding, in which prosecutors said Flores left his two kids alone one morning at 7 a.m., while his wife was at work, "to go be with another woman."

What could go wrong?

Well, the four-year-old -- you'll be shocked to learn -- wasn't quite up to the overwhelming responsibility of taking care of a one-year-old. The older boy left the house in tears and went to a neighbor, who called the cops.

The cops, unfortunately for Humberto, called his wife at work. She hustled back home and was there, along with the police, when the hickey-laden man of the house returned, no doubt madly muttering "Oh shit oh shit oh shit" to himself.

KPRC says after his seven-month jail stint, Flores will be handed over to ICE because it's suspected he's in the country illegally.

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