Our 44th (and first African-American) President will be sworn into office today, and we at Hair Balls felt the best way to honor such a solemn and historical occasion would be to show some examples of other great Americans swearing similar oaths.
5. Jimmy Malone and Eliot Ness (The Untouchables)
It's convenient that Ness' "blood oath" results in the death of nearly everyone around him while he went on to a later career as Whitney Houston's bodyguard, though I may have that last part wrong.
4. "This is my rifle, this is my gun" (Full Metal Jacket)
Wait, wait...which one's for fighting and which is for fun again? I'm taking a date quail-hunting and don't want to commit an unfortunate (and messy) faux pas.
3. "Kneel before Zod." (Superman II)
I remember seeing this in the theater and thinking superhero movies would never reach such heights of coolness as Superman throwing Zod into a giant Coca-Cola sign. I was right.
2. The Delta pledge (Animal House)
Remember when fraternities weren't simply booze-soaked dens of rape and homoerotic physical abuse? Yeah, me neither, but if such a time existed, it was apparently before the early 1960s.
1. Hedley Lamarr (Blazing Saddles)
Fun fact: the late, great Harvey Korman was not -- in fact -- nominated for his performance as the dastardly Lamarr. Co-star Madeline Kahn was, however. Put that in your pipe and shtupp it.
-- Pete Vonder Haar
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