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I Saw the New Kids on the Block Last Night at Toyota Center OMG

Ladies, last night my friend Brandy and I got to see Joey McIntyre pump his pelvis and beg me to please, don’t go girl.

Oh, Joey, I won’t. I never did.

Yeah, I was at the New Kids on the Block show last night.

As readers of this blog may already know, back in the day I lived for the New Kids on the Block. And I mean back in the day like back before I discovered feminism and punk rock and dirty nasty clubs in bad neighborhoods where you stand for three hours drinking shitty beer while some dipshit creates feedback on purpose and calls it art. I’m talking about back in the day when I thought I’d become a fashion designer and have five kids by the time I was 30.

Last night was a show y’all. A show with fireworks and fog and Jumbotrons and Joey McIntyre shaking his thing and piercing my heart with his crystal blue eyes and…

Okay, calm down, MPR.

Next to the guys, I loved the crowd watching. I’d say the number one difference between NKOTB audiences of 15-plus years ago and now is that today’s audiences are pretty much 98 percent street legal, which must be a nice change for the guys. Gone are the prepubescent, lip-glossed girlies, replaced with grown women of all shapes and sizes. However, if I had to paint a portrait of an average audience member, I’d say she was 32 and roughly five months pregnant. Honestly, there were so many pregnant girls at the show it’s no wonder they were selling “Step by Step” onesies at the merch tables. So cute.

Even cuter were the ladies who went so far as to recreate their late 80s looks complete with big hair, blue eye shadow, and dangling plastic earrings the size of my fist. There were also some homemade tees spotted (“Mrs. McIntyre” and “Sorry, Jordan, you’re too late…I’m married!”). It was so incredible to be surrounded by a bunch of women and connect with them over something so sentimental and special to all of us. Yeah, that’s corny or whatever, but who cares.

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The guys were in great shape. They must be working out because they were jumping and dancing like crazy, and they were sending out tons of energy and love to the crowd. Perhaps the grooviest part was when they surprised everyone by popping up in the middle of the floor of the Toyota Center and singing “Tonight.” That’s sorta when the tears started to well up a little.

I don’t really know what else to say. It was a fabulous show. I got to escape for a little while from the routine of my busy, everyday life and remember a time when my existence was a little more innocent and tremendous and everything was So Important. It’s a totally obvious statement and not very deep or snarky of me, but I don’t care.

I love the New Kids on the Block. I went to their concert, and it was incredible, and I’m so happy that I went. It was one of the best nights of my life, and I mean that sincerely.

Thanks, guys. – Jennifer Mathieu

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