Idol Chatter

All in all this was one of the most boring weeks ever — what were those songs Blake, Sanjaya, LaKisha and Melinda sang? Broadway or something? The especially delectable guest mentor

Gwen Stefani

was a saving grace, but man, otherwise that was damn monotonous last night.

Although he came on stage looking like nothing so much as a very scrawny stegosaurus, Sanjaya Malakar's coalition of teenyboppers and vote-for-the-worsters will carry him through another week. And actually his singing wasn't as terrible as usual this time around.

LaKisha and Melinda are both safe again. Gina Glocksen continues to grow on me, mostly via her superb song selection. What's more her Pretenders song was much better than her "Paint it Black," and I think America will agree. She's safe this week. As much as I hate Chris Richardson's nasal singing, I believe he will live to NStink it up another week. Blake Lewis's showing was as tedious as filling out triplicate copies of T.P.S. report cover sheets, but he deserves to coast a week, I guess.

Jordin Sparks is probably safe but it wouldn't surprise me to see her in the bottom three. I'd be disappointed, but not astonished. Phil Stacy might have bought himself another week by covering up that creepy Nosferatu dome of his, but the sooner Van Helsing comes for him the better. (Won't be this week though.) Haley Scarnato's "True Colors" came through last night and I don't think America loved her for changing Cyndi Lauper's melody. She's a bottom three lock. But here's predicting she sticks around. Tonight, the fat lady sings for the fat boy: Chris Sligh's "Bad Day" montage is already cued up on the overhead projector. Every little thing you do is tragic, dude. -- John Nova Lomax

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