Rep. Chet Edwards, a Democrat representing Waco,

as Barack Obama’s VP choice because his surname is the same as that dastardly adulterer John Edwards.

Frankly, it sounds like the sort of thing a fat kid who didn’t make the swim team might say. (“They didn’t want me because they’re jealous of my breast-stroke.”) Unfortunately, such hollow proclamations trivialize those whose names legitimately hurt their chances – fine Americans who might otherwise have made the cut. Here are but a few who sadly fell by the wayside.

Sen. Heywood Yablomi, R-MS

Rep. Adolf Hitler, D-NH

Rep. George Satan, D-LA

Anthony Edwards

Edwards Air Force Base

Edward James Olmos

Gov. Steven W. Dumbfuck, R-ND

John Stamos

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John Wilkes Booth

Jon Bon Jovi

Rep. Larry Craig, R-ID

-- Craig Malisow