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If the U.S. Defaults: 5 Alternatives to Government Checks

We still don't know whether a deal will make it through Congress or whether instead the Tea Party will drive the nation off the economic cliff.

If the U.S. defaults and all of a sudden can't write checks, things could get....interesting. Fortunately, there are back-up plams.

5. Social Security checks In lieu of obviously communistic and socialistic Social Security checks, seniors will get free Luby's coupons. President Obama will deliver an Oval Office speech urging everyone to take advantage of the early bird specials.

4. Paychecks for the Military Again, the coupon route is the way to go. Unfortunately, this was the best deal the government could get.

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3. Student loans and grants It'll be the exciting world of learning at home for kids whose parents can't afford college. For example, this fine video: Trail to Riches: The California Gold Rush and Settlement of the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately, it's a VHS, so look deep in your closets and attics, kids! Also provided for this course: a copy of Oregon Trail.

2. Medicare recipients Directions will be provided to the best border pharmacies in Mexico. The official U.S. policy will tell them to "be careful over there."

1. Contractors providing services to the government This IOU for one free hug comes with the full faith and credit of the U.S. government, for whatever that will be worth.

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