Is J Lo the Calmest Driver Ever?: Five Questions About Current TV Ads

Given the confluence of football season and the World Series, we're watching a lot of TV these days. Unfortunately, there's often not something to switch to during commercial breaks, so we're seeing more ads than usual.

They've left us with a few questions we hope the world can answer.

As with most TV ads, by the way, for some of these we had to do some googling to find out what the hell was the product that was being advertised, which is never really considered a good thing by the people who pay creatives to get their products noticed.

Ashton Kutcher Nikon TV Commercial ft. Kyle Koromaldi - "Malibu" from Kyle Koromaldi on Vimeo.

5. Is it smart to show Ashton Kutcher cheating on his wife? On Two and a Half Men, Ashton Kutcher plays (we assume) some sort of womanizer. That's fine; he's playing a character. But in the Nikon campaign currently airing, he is himself -- flirting with women, ducking enraged husbands, etc. Which is kind of odd, since he's currently embroiled in a sloppy sex scandal that's threatening his long marriage to Demi Moore.

Nikon -- Perfect for cheating slimeballs!!!

4. Has anyone ever bought a Ford because Denis Leary shouted at them?

For years now Ford has been subjecting us to these ADHD cluster-effs with Denis Leary shouting things that we can read on the screen. Among the words thrown in our faces during the campaign: donuts, pizza, bacon, bourbon, cheeseburger, etc., etc. Which, we guess, does sound like a pickup driver's daily menu.

3. Is this an effective ad to show during a football game?

"My sister's new boyfriend told her he thinks Sundays are just for watching football. Believe that?"

Nooooo, darling: I think Sundays are reserved for cheap-ass toxic coffee and burritos at McDonald's. Can I get laid now?

2. Is J-Lo supposed to be the world's calmest driver?

You could easily convince us that Jennifer Lopez hasn't gotten behind the wheel of a car in eight years, but even if she has we doubt that she has the nerves of steel to continue cruising at speed down a city street after a guy jumps on her windhshield and blocks her view.

We can accept that her on-screen reaction is only a slight widening of the eyes, because her best acting skills were used up in Out of Sight, or maybe left on the Gigli cutting-room floor.

1. Why does the Allstate mayhem man look like our Jeff Balke?

These ads are highly annoying -- especially the one with the animals eating insulation -- but they always make me think our definitely-not-annoying Jeff Balke is moonlighting as a TV ad actor.

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