I’ve got a confession to make. Apparently, I’m a terrorist. I say “apparently” because I sometimes exchange fist bumps with friends, and according toFox New Channel’s E.D. Hill
, the fist bump is actually a terrorist fist jab.
You see, it seems that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama exchanged a little fist bump in front of the cameras last week before he gave a speech in St. Paul, Minnesota. And it seems that some people have never seen a fist bump, so there was lots of talk about it. I didn’t see this bump because I was busy watching the Astros and the Pirates, but I’ve been assured the bump actually happened. And it’s this fist bump which prompted Ms. Hill to ask if the fist bump is terrorist related.
(This prompts me to wonder if a low I.Q. is a requirement for employment at the Fox News Channel.)
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
But you know something, if I’m a terrorist, then so is Jose Cruz, the first base coach of the Astros, because if you ever watch an Astros game, you’ll note that Cruz exchanges fist bumps with batters when they reach first base after a hit – I suppose this also makes all of the batters on the team terrorists. I’ve never paid much attention to the pitchers, but I’ve never seen them bumping fists with Brad Ausmus or the pitching coach, so I guess they’re not terrorists.
And the Tampa Bay Rays must be terrorists because they’ve even done a video on the history of the terrorist fist jab. The New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Baltimore Orioles, Washington Nationals, and the Seattle Mariners are also full of terrorist fist jabbers.
Baseball is America's sport, and if the jab rules there, then maybe the terrorists have won. And the fact that E.D. Hill lost her show demonstrates just how powerful the terrorists really are.
Which just shows...you don't mess with the fist bump. – John Royal