| Base |

Is Jose Cruz a Terrorist?

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

I’ve got a confession to make. Apparently, I’m a terrorist. I say “apparently” because I sometimes exchange fist bumps with friends, and according to

Fox New Channel’s E.D. Hill

, the fist bump is actually a terrorist fist jab.

You see, it seems that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama exchanged a little fist bump in front of the cameras last week before he gave a speech in St. Paul, Minnesota. And it seems that some people have never seen a fist bump, so there was lots of talk about it. I didn’t see this bump because I was busy watching the Astros and the Pirates, but I’ve been assured the bump actually happened. And it’s this fist bump which prompted Ms. Hill to ask if the fist bump is terrorist related.

(This prompts me to wonder if a low I.Q. is a requirement for employment at the Fox News Channel.)

But you know something, if I’m a terrorist, then so is Jose Cruz, the first base coach of the Astros, because if you ever watch an Astros game, you’ll note that Cruz exchanges fist bumps with batters when they reach first base after a hit – I suppose this also makes all of the batters on the team terrorists. I’ve never paid much attention to the pitchers, but I’ve never seen them bumping fists with Brad Ausmus or the pitching coach, so I guess they’re not terrorists.

And the Tampa Bay Rays must be terrorists because they’ve even done a video on the history of the terrorist fist jab. The New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Baltimore Orioles, Washington Nationals, and the Seattle Mariners are also full of terrorist fist jabbers.

Baseball is America's sport, and if the jab rules there, then maybe the terrorists have won. And the fact that E.D. Hill lost her show demonstrates just how powerful the terrorists really are.

Which just shows...you don't mess with the fist bump. – John Royal

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.